The Bull Sheet

October 23, 2013 INTL

Wednesday, October 23, 2013        Edition: #5086

Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Kanye West rented out San Francisco’s AT&T Park Monday night, telling baby mama Kim Kardashian it was a special 33rd birthday celebration for her. Imagine her (non)surprise when it turned out to be the venue where he finally proposed marriage. Backed by a 50-piece orchestra and fireworks, he popped the question and slipped a 15-carat diamond ring onto her hand. (All of the hoopla no doubt filmed for TV.)
– “Daily Telegraph”
★ Oscar-winner and chart-topper Jamie Foxx wants to form a supergroup to record a new track for “The Amazing Spider-Man 2”. Foxx, who plays villain ‘Electro’ in the upcoming sequel (May 2014), has created a new tune called “Chasing Spiders” and wants to record it with Rihanna, guitarist Slash, and drummer Travis Barker. He also has the video worked out, featuring a 60-piece orchestra dressed as comic book heroes & villains. (Not to be unimpressed, but … Kanye may have already trumped you.)
– “Men’s Fitness”
★ Actor James Franco has confirmed reports he will make his Broadway debut opposite “Bridesmaids” star Chris O’Dowd in a new stage production of John Steinbeck’s novel “Of Mice and Men”. Franco will play savvy migrant worker ‘George’ to O’Dowd’s mentally-challenged ‘Lennie’ in the latest rendering of the Great Depression-era drama, to be directed by Tony Award-winner Anna Shapiro. (Like him or not, Franco writes, directs, and acts in movies and now onstage … he’s the closest thing Hollywood has to a renaissance man.)
– WENN.com
★ And a legal battle has developed between an Ohio cemetery and a grieving family over … SpongeBob SquarePants tombstones. The family wanted to pay tribute to their deceased loved one, Sgt Kimberly Walker, who collected SquarePants memorabilia. So they ordered 2 monuments, each weighing 7,000 lbs, standing 6 ft, 8 inches-tall, and costing $13,000-plus. But Cincinnati’s Spring Grove Cemetery is saying any erection on a burial plot must first be approved by administration; and it’s saying … get it outta here! See what you think here …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/lgyqusa
– QMI

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Kendrick Lamar (“Good Kid: MAAD City”).
• “Conan” (TBS) – Okkervil River (“The Silver Gymnasium”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated) – Vegas entertainer Shania Twain (“Up”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC) – Keith Urban (“Fuse”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Kitten (“Cut It Out”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC) – ‘Pearl Jam Week’ continues, with various artists rocking Pearl Jam classics. Tonight Dierks Bentley teams with Pearl Jam’s Mike McCready and The Roots for a one-of-a-kind performance.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Kruger Bros f/Steve Martin (“Appalachian Concerto”). Rerun.
• Royal Christening (London UK) – Today Britain’s baby Prince George is christened at the Chapel Royal at St James’s Palace by the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Rev Justin Welby. It’s likely we’ll then find out whom the Duke & Duchess of Cambridge have chosen as godparents to the wee heir. (There may be as many as 6.)
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – ‘60s trumpet player-turned-record company exec Herb Alpert.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC) – Daughtry (“Break the Spell”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Paulina Rubio (“The X Factor”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Brooks & Dunn – Kix Brooks is among the winners of the Country Music Association radio awards, receiving ‘National Personality Of the Year’ honors for his show “American Country Countdown”.
• Elton John – He’s agreed to appear on the upcoming “Lady Gaga & The Muppets Holiday Spectacular”, airing November 28th on ABC-TV. Elton last appeared on “The Muppet Show” in 1978, when he dueted with ‘Miss Piggy’ on “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”.
• Justin Bieber – His new concert documentary, “Believe”, hits movie theaters on Christmas Day.
• Katy Perry – Tonight she’ll be joined by some of her favorite artists for a charity concert event at LA’s Hollywood Bowl (airing on CBS Radio). “Citi Presents Katy Perry’s We Can Survive” also features Ellie Goulding, Kacey Musgraves, Sara Bareilles, and Tegan & Sara.
• Kelly Clarkson – Talk about flying under the radar! She married fiancé Brandon Blackstock on Sunday and managed to keep it quiet until she tweeted photos. The 31-year-old “Stronger” singer is now stepmom to music-exec Blackstock’s 2 children. (And Reba McEntire is her step-mother-in-law.)
• One Direction – They’ve topped actor Daniel Radcliffe to be named Britain’s richest young stars (under 30) in a new “Heat” magazine ranking. Their combined earnings over the past year are estimated at £59.33 million, about $96 million.
• Taylor Swift – Her new song “Sweeter Than Fiction” will play over the end credits of the movie “One Chance”, opening this Friday. The film stars Brit actor James Corden as the warehouse manager who won “Britain’s Got Talent” in 2007.
• U2 – Bits of the new song “Ordinary Love” can be heard in the trailer for the movie “Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom”, a biopic about former South African leader Nelson Mandela starring Idris Elba. They wrote the track specifically for the movie, but have been working on a new album as well.

BALDNESS TREATMENT A STEP CLOSER:
Scientists say they have succeeded in growing human hair in a laboratory. A joint UK and US team was able to create new hairs from tissue samples. Far more research is needed, but the group says its technique has the ‘potential to transform’ the treatment of hair loss. In experiments, tissue was taken from humans and grown in ‘3-D spheroids’. These were then transplanted into human skin which had been grafted on to the backs of mice. After 6 weeks, tiny new hairs began to form. Durham University researcher Colin Jahoda says, “Yeah I think [hair-loss] will eventually be treatable, absolutely.” (This is progress … mice with hairy backs.)
– Condensed from BBC News

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 75% of employees say swearing is the rudest thing a person can do on-the-job.
• 60% of men admit they fear going bald.
• 40% of us say we shop when we want to cure a bad mood.
• 33% of Disney visitors don’t have any children with them.
• 25% of women say they’ve had to miss a day of work due to a bad hair day.
• 20% of us say we call ourselves at least once a week … to find our cellphone.

FATHER FIGURES:
A study by the Equal Opportunities Commission has identified 4 main types of fathers. So which are you?
• Enforcer Dad – Not involved with the day-to-day care of children. He sees the most important aspects of being a father as providing a role model and clear rules for his children.
• Entertainer Dad – Often entertains the children while the mother does things like cooking and cleaning.
• Useful Dad – Helps out with day-to-day childcare and household tasks but still tends to take the lead from the mother about what needs doing.
• Fully Involved Dad – Is equally involved with running the home and family, at least some of the time. The mother and father roles are virtually interchangeable in this family.
– PA News

BS BUZZWORDS:
New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Caxirola’ – A percussion instrument created for Brazil’s World Cup in 2014. It rattles when shaken. Unlike the ‘vuvuzela’, which became infamous in South Africa’s World Cup, the caxirola has no historical significance and has been designed especially for use in World Cup stadiums.
• ‘Copenhagenization’ – The process of making a city safer and more accessible for bicyclists and pedestrians, as it is in Copenhagen, Denmark. The concept doesn’t just make walking and cycling possible, but redesigns streets to make them the norm.
• ‘Hyperdensification’ – An extreme increase in the population density of an urban area. One result … good luck finding a parking space!

BRAIN BLOW-OUT:
Why do we spend so much time sleeping? So our brains can flush out cellular waste, which helps prevent disease and neurological disorders, says a new National Institutes of Health study. Like a janitor sweeping the halls after the lights go out, a major cleanup occurs in the brain during sleep. The process is sped along during slumber time because the brain’s cells shrink by about 60%, allowing spinal fluid to move faster and more freely through the brain. The research offers new answers as to why we spend a third of our lives asleep. (Sign you need more sleep … ‘cellular waste’ coming out of your mouth in the morning.)
– Adapted from “Science”

AND THE RICH GET RICHER:
The new “Credit Suisse report 2013” serves up a range of facts about wealth. Among them …
• Global wealth has reached a new all-time high of $241 trillion, an average of $51,000 per person worldwide.
• America accounts for 72% of the increase in global wealth, despite the financial crisis of 2008. Much of that is due to the rise in the value of the US dollar and the US stock markets’ better performance.
• Wealth is more evenly distributed in Canada than in the US with Canada’s median wealth at $90,300 compared to just $44,900 in America.
– Star.com

BS AMAZING ANIMAL FACTS:
• Marmosets are too polite to interrupt each other.
– “Daily Mail”
• Some sort of universal law of urination means that elephants, cows, goats, and dogs all take roughly 21 seconds to empty their bladders.
– “New Scientist”

BS CHRONOMETER 10.23.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1954 [59] Ang Lee, Chaochou, Taiwan, movie director-producer-writer (“Life of Pi”, “Brokeback Mountain”)

1956 [57] Dwight Yoakam, Pikeville KY, country singer (“Fast As You”, “A Thousand Miles From Nowhere”)/movie actor (“Crank” films, “Sling Blade”)

1959 [54] Sam Raimi, Royal Oak MI, movie director-producer-writer (“Oz: The Great & Powerful”, “Spider-Man” movies)

1959 [54] (Alfred Matthew) ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic, Lynwood CA, parody singer (“White & Nerdy”, “Eat It”)

1964 [49] Robert Trujillo (Roberto Agustín Miguel Santiago Samuel Perez de la Santa Concepcion Trujillo Veracruz Batista), Santa Monica CA, rock bassist (Metallica-“Death Magnetic”, “St Anger”)

1974 [39] Eric Bass, Jacksonville FL, rock bassist (Shinedown-“Bully”, “Second Chance”)

1976 [37] Ryan Reynolds, Vancouver BC Canada, movie actor (“Green Lantern”, “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”)/wed to Blake Lively September 2012/wed to Scarlett Johansson 2008-11

1976 [37] Cat Deeley, Birmingham UK, TV host (“So You Think You Can Dance” since 2006)

1983 [30] Matthew Shultz, Bowling Green KY, indie rock singer (Cage the Elephant-“Shake Me Down”, “In One Ear”)

1985 [28] Miguel (Pimentel), LA CA, pop/R&B singer-songwriter (“Adorn”, “Sure Thing”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canning Day”, honoring the 1752 birth of French chef/chemist Nicolas Appert, who came up with the concept of sealing perishable food in jars. For this, he is known as ‘the father of canning’, but he also came up with many other inventions … including the bouillon cube.

• “Do-It-Yourself Day”, celebrating all the handy folks who spend time, money, and sweat on home repairs … just before calling in someone who knows what they’re doing.

• “Lung Health Day”, observed annually on the 4th Wednesday of October, promoting clean air and healthy lifestyles so we can all breathe easier.

• “TV Talk Show Host Day”, to celebrate those ‘gifted with the personality and intellect to enable them to bring out the best in their guests’. It’s an annual observance on the birth anniversary of iconic talk show host Johnny Carson in Corning, Iowa in 1925.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2004 [09] Pop singer Ashlee Simpson is caught lip-synching during an appearance on NBC-TV’s “Saturday Night Live” (pretty much a career killer)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1993 [20] 1st team to win the MLB World Series outside the USA (Joe Carter hits a 3-run homer in the bottom of the 9th inning at Skydome to give Toronto Blue Jays an 8-6 win over the Philadelphia Phillies and their 2nd championship in-a-row)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1977 [36] Wesley Paul runs the NYC Marathon in 3 hours & 31 minutes, about 48 minutes behind the winner … but 15 minutes faster than any other 8-year-old ever has!

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] Food Day
[Thurs] World Development Information Day
[Fri] “The Counselor”; “Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa” open in movie theaters
[Fri] “Dracula” debuts (NBC/Global)
[Fri] International Artists Day
This Week Is … Freedom From Bullies Week
This Month Is … International Doll Collectors Month

BULL’S BITS


HALLOWEEN COSTUMES YOU MAY ALREADY HAVE IN YOUR CLOSET:
• The Pissed Off Bridesmaid
• The 1990s Temp Worker
• The Dress-For-Less Clearance Rack Shopper
• The Lactating Scuba Diver
• The Cougar Who Doesn’t Give A Crap What You Think, She’s Wearing Elastic Waist Pants to the Club
• The Person Going Through An Unfortunate Cosmic Cowgirl Phase
• The Norwegian Cleaning Woman
• The Slutty Lumberjack
– Thanks to Wendi Aarons

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
Why does shampoo lather so much better the 2nd time you use it?
a. Few people use enough the first time. You need a whole handful to create lather.
b. Fewer oils are left in the hair after the 1st washing. [CORRECT]
c. It takes up to 2 minutes for shampoo to completely interact with water and create bubbles.
– “Totally Trivial”

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Should you tell her you surf porn? (New University of Calgary research finds that some women actually prefer honesty about porn consumption, as hiding the habit can seem deceitful or even make her feel like she’s being cheated on. Just don’t overshare: The study also suggests honesty on the topic should avoid details, such as specific ‘preferences’ and how much time the ‘activity’ takes up.)

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The inanimate objects we’re most likely to say ‘hurry up!’ to are a computer, followed by THIS.
Answer: An ATM.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
For every vision, there is an equal and opposite revision.

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