Friday, September 29, 2006        Edition: #3376
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT the “New York Film Festival” opens ( through OCTOBER 14th) with the docudrama “The Queen”, starring Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth II dealing with the aftermath of the death of Princess Diana (the royal family has expressed its displeasure with the film by releasing a synchronized grimace) . . . SATURDAY the “Los Angeles Hip-Hop Summit” at USC features Snoop Dogg, Tyrese, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony and others speaking on ‘financial literacy’, aka how to keep the benjamins (the ‘Get Your Money Right’ tour comes to Toronto OCTOBER 28th) . . . SATURDAY Willie Nelson’s 21st annual “Farm Aid Concert” comes to that noted agricultural center, Camden NJ (huh?), with performances by regulars Neil Young, John Mellencamp and Dave Matthews, plus guests Los Lonely Boys, Steve Earle, Jerry Lee Lewis, Arlo Guthrie, and the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (who’ll all wait their turn in Willie’s cloud-filled tour bus) . . . SUNDAY Discovery Channel airs the special, “Discovery Atlas: China Revealed”, notable for more than just the show’s content – it will be the 1st TV show released on high-definition DVD (later THIS MONTH) . . . THIS WEEK in NYC, the TV series “Law & Order” (NBC/CTV) has been shooting another episode ‘ripped from the headlines’ (to air NOVEMBER 3rd) in which an actor who is pulled over by cops on suspicion of drunk driving unleashes an anti-Semitic tirade (the Mel Gibson-like role is appropriately played by Chevy Chase, himself convicted of DUI 10 years ago) . . . “Two & a Half Men” (CBS) star Charlie Sheen is close to finalizing a new pay pact that will make him the highest-paid comedy star currently on TV (the record is held by Ray Romano, who earned nearly $2-million-per-episode for the final season of “Everybody Loves Raymond” 2004-05) . . . “Lord of the Rings” director Peter Jackson and his  screenwriter partner Fran Walsh have signed a long-term deal with Microsoft to make Xbox 360 games through their new video game studio, including a new “Halo” game due in 2008 (Jackson is already producing a movie based on the popular game) . . . And the Motion Picture Association of America’s plan to use specially-trained dogs to sniff out bootleg DVDs being imported through airports has run into a bit of a hitch – pirated DVDs smell just like legal ones (the ones featuring Kevin Costner really stink).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Avril Lavigne – Never known for her kindness to paparazzi, she’s apparently found a new way to fend them off, recently hocking a loogie into a camera lens after exiting an LA club.
• Eric Clapton – SUNDAY he’s scheduled to play Toronto’s Air Canada Centre, after postponing a Michigan concert last weekend due to throat problems.
• James Blunt – SUNDAY he’s bringing his “Back to Bedlam” world tour back to North America in a 34-city road trip that begins at Montréal’s Bell Centre. The tour wraps in Vegas NOVEMBER 18th.
• Keith Urban – SATURDAY & Sunday he’s previewing music from his upcoming album “Love, Pain & the Whole Crazy Thing” with performances for his online fan club at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta GA. The album is due out NOVEMBER 7th.
• The Killers – TOMORROW they’re the musical guests on the 32nd season premiere of “Saturday Night Live” (NBC), hosted by actor Dane Cook (Jessica Simpson’s “Employee of the Month” co-star)
• Ludacris – TODAY he guests on both the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) and the late night show “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Snow Patrol – TONIGHT they perform “Chasing Cars” on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Van Halen – SATURDAY guitar legend Eddie Van Halen appears at a Hollywood Hills bash thrown by adult film company Ninn Worx to celebrate the launch of the new skin flick “Sacred Sin”. Eddie wrote and performed 2 new songs for the movie. How the mighty have fallen.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Guardian” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): In what’s designed to be his ‘comeback movie’, Kevin Costner plays a Coast Guard rescue swimmer who turns to teaching, and soon encounters a cocky young guy in need of a mentor (Ashton Kutcher). Trailer and clips available here …
NET: http://theguardian.movies.go.com/
• “Open Season” ( PG Animated Family Comedy ): A domesticated grizzly bear named ‘Boog’ (Martin Lawrence) buddies up with a fast-talking mule deer named ‘Elliot’ (Ashton Kutcher) after they become stranded in the woods 3 days before hunting season. Also features the voices of Gary Sinise, Debra Messing and Billy Connolly. Sound clips here …
NET: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/openseason/
• “School for Scoundrels” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Jon Heder (“Napoleon Dynamite”) plays an unlucky meter reader who enrolls in a confidence-building class in order to win over the girl of his dreams. Unfortunately, his instructor (Billy Bob Thornton) gets the same idea. Co-stars Jacinda Barrett. Trailer and clips here …
NET: http://www.schoolforscoundrels-movie.com/

THE FAST FINGER:
For an instant indication of how fast a woman can run, take a look at her hands. Women whose ring fingers are longer than their index fingers are quicker on their feet, according to a new study at St Thomas’ Hospital in London UK. The results, which are published in the “British Journal of Sports Medicine”, show that women with longer ring fingers are significantly better at most sports, especially those involving running such as track or tennis. (An unrelated study has found that women with longer middle fingers are better at commuting.)
– “The Independent”

ANNIVERSARY ALARM:
Scientists have come up with a way of ensuring that couples never forget their wedding anniversary. The new yellow or white gold ‘Remember Ring’, priced circa $750, can be programmed to a set date so the wearer feels a slight burning sensation the day before a wedding anniversary. A hot spot on the interior surface of the ring warms up to 118 F (48 C) for 10 seconds and continues to warm up every hour, on the hour, all day long. (That’s nothing compared to the burning glare you’ll get from your wife if you forget!)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/pwjdm
– “GQ”

MORE SECRETS OF THE MONA LISA:
• Computer scientists at Canada’s National Research Council (NRC) have used special 3-D technology to scan Leonardo da Vinci’s famous “Mona Lisa” and discover that her dress is covered in a thin, transparent gauze veil, typical of the type worn in 16th-century Italy by women who were pregnant or had just given birth. Perhaps the reason she’s smiling? (Or maybe it was the epidural.)
– CBC Arts
• Scientists from the University of Amsterdam and University of Illinois have used a new algorithm software to analyze the emotion reflected in the “Mona Lisa’s” smile. The program measures lip curvature and eye wrinkles to rate 6 separate emotions. Apparently, da Vinci’s famous lady was 83% happy, 9% disgusted, 6% fearful and 2% angry. (Well, this does sound like a new mom, doesn’t it?)
– “New Scientist”

THE NEW E-BOOK:
SUNDAY Sony is launching the online ‘Connect eBookstore’ that will sell some 10,000 electronic books from 6 leading publishers. The e-books are for use with the new $350 ‘Sony Portable Reader’, an electronic gizmo capable of storing hundreds of books in electronic form and displaying them with the same clarity as ink on paper. It’s touted to be an improvement on previous so-called ‘e-books’ because it’s not back-lit, so there’s no flicker on the screen. (But that also means you still can’t read in bed at night without getting an elbow to the ribs.)
– Reuters

BS ANIMAL TALES:
• A 4-legged chicken has been discovered living among 36,000 other birds on a farm in Somerset, Pennsylvania. The quadruped hen, who’s been named ‘Henrietta’, has 2 normal front legs and, behind those, 2 more feet on similar-sized legs that don’t function. She just drags her extra legs along behind her. (They’re saving her for Thanksgiving so the entire family can have a drumstick.)
– “Fortean Times”
•  Juliette Piesley of Addlestone, England can’t start her car without her dog ‘George’. Seems while she was changing the battery in her electronic key fob, the pooch somehow managed to swallow the immobilizer chip. Following the advice of a road-service mechanic, she put ‘George’ in the front seat and was able to start the car with her key. (We don’t wanna know what she has to do for keyless entry.)
– “NY Post”

THE BULL SHEET 9.29.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1935 [71] Jerry Lee Lewis (‘Killer’), Ferriday LA, oldies rock ‘n roll singer (“Great Balls of Fire”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1986)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1989)

1948 [58] Bryant Gumbel, New Orleans LA, TV personality (“Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel” since 2005, “The Early Show” 1999-2002, “Today Show” 1982-97)/former NFL analyst (NBC)

1961 [45] Tom Sizemore, Detroit MI, loser movie actor (“Black Hawk Down”) convicted of assaulting & harassing ex-girlfriend Heidi Fleiss and several charges for possession of a controlled substance

SATURDAY –
Oldies crooner Johnny Mathis (“Chances Are”) is 71; Country singer Marty Stuart (Grand Ole Opry) is 48; Country singer Eddie Montgomery (Montgomery Gentry) is 43; Alt-rock bassist Robby Takac (Goo Goo Dolls) is 42; Tennis player Martina Hingis is 26.

SUNDAY –
39th US President Jimmy Carter is 82; Actress-singer Julie Andrews (“The Sound of Music”) is 71; TV actor Stephen Collins (“7th Heaven”) is 59; Movie actor Randy Quaid (“Brokeback Mountain”) is 56.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Michaelmas”, the feast day of St Michael the Archangel, the patron saint of exorcists. It’s also known as “Goose Day” in some places, thanks to the old English proverb which says, “If you eat goose on Michaelmas Day, you will never want money all the year round.” In the Middle Ages it celebrated the end of the harvest, when laborers were paid for their work with meat, ale, fish, ale, good bread … and ale.
• “Pumpkin Day”, celebrating the orange member of the squash family best known for being carved into jack-o-lanterns or made into pie filling. It can also be boiled, sliced, fried, puréed or used in soups. The French make pumpkin jam and the Italians use it as a filling for sweet ravioli. Did you know that pumpkins are 90% water? Or that they were once recommended for removing freckles and curing snake bites?
• “Okanagan Wine Festival” through October 8th, a celebration of fabulous wine and great food with some 165 unique events throughout BC’s Okanagan Valley.
NET: http://www.owfs.com
• “Vancouver International Film Festival”, the 25th annual through October 13th. More than 150,000 are expected to attend 550 screenings of over 300 films from more than 50 countries.
NET: http://www.viff.org

SATURDAY –
• “Do Something Wacky with a Grandparent Day”. Just don’t get caught.
• “Mud Pack Day”, proving there’s a day to honor just about any old thing you can think of.
• “St Jerome’s Day”, patron saint of librarians. In order to celebrate … shhhhhhh!

SUNDAY –
• “Homemade Cookie Day”. What was the best kind that your mommy made?
• “International Day of Older Persons”, as declared by the UN.
• “World Vegetarian Day”, celebrated since 1977 to create awareness of the ethical, environmental, health & humanitarian benefits of a vegetarian lifestyle.
• “Yom Kippur”, the holiest day on the Jewish calendar, also known as the “Day of Atonement”.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1996 [10] “Nintendo 64” video game system is released (the first ‘true 64-bit system’), and sells 500,000 units the first day

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1963 [43] The Rolling Stones 1st-ever tour (as opening act for Bo Diddley and the Everly Bros)

1999 [07] Mariah Carey’s “Heartbreaker” becomes her 14th #1 single on the “Billboard” ‘Hot 100′, a feat surpassed only by the Beatles (20) and Elvis Presley (18)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1930 [76] 1st Canadian football game played ‘under the lights’ (Hamilton vs UBC)

1987 [19] Compaq introduces its leading edge ‘Laptop Computer’, using an Intel 386 processor, weighing 20 lbs, and costing $10,000

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995 [11] Cleveland Indians set Major League Baseball record for the ‘Largest Lead Over a 2nd-Place Team’ (28 games ahead of KC)

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Oct 1] Homemade Cookie Day / World Vegetarian Day
[Oct 2] Yom Kippur (Jewish) / Name Your Car Day / World Farm Animal Day / Custodial Workers Day
[Oct 4] Child Health Day / Toot Your Flute Day / Universal Children’s Day / World Habitat Day / “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning” opens in movie theaters
[Oct 5] Techies Day / Story Telling Day / World Teachers Day
[Oct 6] Chinese Moon Festival / 12th National Denim Day / Come & Take It Day / Frugal Fun Day / Physician Assistant Day / Lawyers Day / World Smile Day / “Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker”; “Employee of the Month”; “The Departed” open in movie theaters.
[Oct 7] Diversity Day 
[Oct 9] Thanksgiving Day (Canada)
[Oct 11] Emergency Nurses Day
[Oct 12] International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day / Farmers Day / World Egg Day / Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day
[Oct 13] VQA Wine Day / International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction  / School Librarian Day / “Man of the Year”; “The Grudge 2″; “The Marine” open in movie theaters
[Oct 14] Be Bald & Be Free Day / Dessert Day
[Oct 15] Grouch Day / Poetry Day / Sunday School Teacher Appreciation Day
[Oct 16] Dictionary Day / World Food Day / Bosses Day / Hurricane Thanksgiving Day (Virgin Islands)
[Oct 17] Gaudy Day
[Oct 18] Persons Day (Canada) / No Beard Day / Sweetest Day
[Oct 19] Evaluate Your Life Day
[Oct 20] “DOA: Dead Or Alive”; “Flags of Our Fathers”; “Flicka”; “Marie Antoinette”; “The Prestige” open in movie theaters
[Oct 21] Diwali (Hindu) / Babbling Day / Reptile Day / Mother-In-Laws Day
[Oct 23] Canned Food Day / TV Talk Show Host Day / Make a Difference Day
[Oct 24] Ramadan ends (Muslim) / United Nations Day / Bologna Day
[Oct 25] Punk For A Day Day / Cartoonists Against Crime Day / International Greasy Foods Day
[Oct 27] Cranky Co-Workers Day / Frankenstein Friday / “Babel”; “Saw III” open in movie theaters
[Oct 28] Chocolate Day / Plush Animal Lovers Day
[Oct 29] Daylight Saving Time ends (2 am) / Hermit Day / International Internet Day
[Oct 30] Devils Night / Mischief Night
[Oct 31] Halloween / National Magic Day / Increase Your Psychic Powers Day / UNICEF Day
[Nov 1] Vegan World Day
[Nov 2] 7th Latin Grammy Awards (NYC)
[Nov 4] Governor General’s Performing Arts Awards Gala (Ottawa)
[Nov 6] 40th CMA Awards (Nashville TN)

BULL’S BITS

TOP SWAPS:
The week’s most requested music files online …
5. Jibbs – “Chain Hang Low”
4. Fergie – “London Bridge”
3. Pussycat Dolls – “Buttons”
2. Cassie – “Me & U”
1. Justin Timberlake – “SexyBack”
– Big Champagne online music measurement

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: More men than women think THIS constitutes cheating.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Talking to an ex on a regular basis.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Experience enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.