Thursday, September 30, 2004        Edition: #2877
Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY Courtney Love is scheduled to go to trial in LA, facing 2 felony drug charges for illegal possession of painkillers . . . TONIGHT Oprah Winfrey will be honored by the UN for her efforts in helping the underprivileged with the ‘Global Leadership Award’, presented at NYC’s Waldorf Hotel . . . TONIGHT Kanye West leads nominations with 7 at the UK’s 9th annual “Mobo Awards” (‘mobo’ is Brit slang for all types of music from black culture), to be handed out at London’s Royal Albert Hall with new categories this year for ‘Best Collaboration’ and ‘Best Ringtone’ (that’d be the one that is OFF) . . . The “Sexiest Women of Reality TV 2005 Calendar” & “The “Sexiest Men of Reality TV 2005 Calendar” have been launched, featuring Ethan Zohn & Jenna Lewis from “Survivor”, Ryan Starr & Kimberly Caldwell from “American Idol”, Matthew Hickl from “The Bachlorette”, Valerie Penso from “Temptation Island” & many others (whose 15 minutes are up) . . . And while you’re watching “Survivor” TONIGHT, consider this – how come all these people, supposedly stuck in the middle of nowhere with barely the necessities of life, always have sparkling white teeth? 

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• kd lang – TODAY she’s on TV’s syndicated “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• Pearl Jam – TONIGHT they do “Late Show With David Letterman”.
• Crosby, Stills & Nash – TONIGHT they’re on NBC-TV’S “Late Late Show With Craig Kilborn”.
• Tim McGraw – TONIGHT and tomorrow night his Green Bay WI concerts will be filmed for his upcoming NBC-TV concert special. An airdate has not yet been set.
• R Kelly/Jay-Z – TONIGHT in Chicago they make a 2nd attempt at kicking off “The Best of Both Worlds” tour. They originally planned the tour for 2002 but the shows were canceled after Kelly was arrested on child-porn charges.
• Kenny Chesney – Someone picked up a wad of gum he discarded before entering a restaurant in Nashville and has offered it on eBay for a $20 bid. So far, no takers.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
“Terminator 4″ will see the world’s computer systems infected by viruses, and  a new robot will come to the rescue as Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character is reduced to a cameo role . . . Actors Mark Wahlberg, Charlize Theron & Jason Statham are all in talks to appear in a sequel to the 2003 heist film “The Italian Job” . . . 19-year-old Brit actress Keira Knightley has been working with martial-arts experts for her next role as a bounty hunter in the thriller “Domino” (her weapon of choice – nunchuks) . . . Comic Will Ferrell & director David Mamet are teaming up to
make a ‘contemporary satire’ called “Joan of Bark: The Dog That Saved France” . . . Emmy winner (“The Sopranos”) and “Joey” co-star Drea de Matteo is playing a stripper in the upcoming slapstick comedy “Go Go Tales!”, but will need endless hours in makeup to cover up ‘tons of tattoos’ she got a s a teen . . . Ashlee Simpson is set to appear in the indie film “Wannabe”, playing an actress trying to make the big time . . . A pseudo-remake of “Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner” called “The Dinner Party” will reverse the racial situation and star Bernie Mac as the father, Zoe Saldana as the daughter & Ashton Kutcher as the cracker aiming to marry her.

SPACE VACATION:
The reality of space tourism is getting closer each day. The latest estimates from technical experts who are designing orbiting space hotels say that the first functional vehicles could be in orbit as early as 2008. Experts predict that the space tourism industry will grow slowly at first, with prices for short trips up around the $100,000 mark, but competition will cut that price at least in half, and as many as 12,000 tourists per year should be checking into space hotels by 2020.
– “New Scientist”

TIFF THERAPY:
Annoyed with your mate? Marriage and family expert Dr Paul Coleman says you should envision your partner ‘wrapped in a white light’ when you’re feeling critical in order to help stifle your petty irritations. (If you’re really steamed, try picturing them wrapped in a white sheet.)
– “Social Studies”

NATURAL GAS:
According to Australian nutritionist Matt O’Neill, ‘passing wind’ is actually good for you, and eating healthy food is more likely to cause flatulence. (So fart loud, be proud, healthy – and LONELY.)
– “Goofball News”

I SAID TAKE SOME VITAMIN E!!!!
Researchers at the Technion-Israel Institute of Technology, have found that vitamin E can help restore hearing in people who become deaf suddenly without any known reason. Vitamin E is a natural antioxidant that has already been hailed as a potential cancer therapy. A study of patients with sudden hearing loss, found that those given vitamin E made a better recovery than those given standard treatment, which includes bed rest, steroid drugs and a mixture of carbon and oxygen. (The Israeli Institute also found sudden hearing loss could be avoided by not throwing grenades.)
– BBC World News

RED, RED WINE:
A new study suggests that drinking a glass of red wine a day may cut men’s risk of prostate cancer in half. Researchers at Seattle’s Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center made the discovery after interviewing over 700 prostate-cancer patients as well as a like number of healthy men.
– ANI

SNACKS ‘R GOOD:
In a study of the snacking habits of 16,000 children aged 9 to 14, Harvard University researchers found that their data did not offer support the idea that snacking promotes weight gain. Writing in the “International Journal of Obesity”, the researchers suggest the weight and height of children’s mothers proved to be a much stronger indication of weight gain – with overweight mothers producing overweight children. (So kids, pick your mothers wisely!)
– “The Independent”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
• 81% of women say a guy should trim his nether regions.
• 75% of bullies say their best buds are – other bullies.
• 40% of us say that, after people, the first thing we would save from a fire is our computers.
• 39% of women refuse to discuss facial waxing with their husbands or boyfriends.
• 30% of us say we get our best ideas in the bedroom.
• 23% of wives throw away their husbands’ old or torn underwear behind their backs.
• 37% of pet owners call home and leave answering machine messages for their furry friends.

THE BULL SHEET 09.30.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1958 [46] Marty Stuart, Philadelphia MS, country singer (“The Whiskey Ain’t Workin”)/Grand Ole Opry member/Mr Connie Smith  FACTOID: He pleaded guilty to DUI in JULY.

1963 [41] Eddie Montgomery, Danville KY, country singer (Montgomery Gentry-“You Do Your Thing”, “Hell Yeah”)

1964 [40] Robby Takac, Buffalo NY, rock bassist (Goo Goo Dolls-“Sympathy”, “Iris”)

1968 [36] Monica Bellucci, Citta di Castello, Italy, movie actress (‘Magdalene’ in “The Passion of the Christ”, ‘Persephone’ in “The Matrix Reloaded”)

1980 [24] Martina Hingis, Kosice SLOV, pro tennis player (won 1st Grand Slam title at age 16)

1982 [22] Lacey Chabert, Purvis MS, movie actress (“Mean Girls”, “Rugrats Go Wild!”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Miami FL] US Presidential debate

TODAY is “National Mud Pack Day”, proving there’s a day to honor just about any damn thing you can think of.

TODAY is “Do Something Wacky with a Grandparent Day”. Just don’t get caught.

TODAY is “St Jerome’s Day”, patron saint of librarians (to celebrate, SHHHHHHH!). Here’s a few other unusual patron saints –
• St Zita is said to help people find lost items.
• St Servatius is the patron saint of foot problems.
• St Maurus offers protection from cold.
• St Apollonia is the patron saint of toothaches.
– “Saintly Support” by Andrews McMeel.

TOMORROW is “World Vegetarian Day”, celebrated since 1977 to create awareness of the ethical, environmental, health & humanitarian benefits of a vegetarian lifestyle. About 1 million people a year become vegetarians in North America, but still 660,000 animals are killed for meat every hour. An Oxford University study finds that vegetarians have a 40% lower risk of cancer and 30% lower risk of heart disease than meat-eaters, and are 20% less likely to die of any cause.
PHONER: 518.568.7970 (North American Vegetarian Society-Dolgeville NY)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1841 [163] 1st ‘stapler’ invented by Sam Slocum (next day, he finds his tie is attached to his patent application)

1846 [158] Boston’s Dr William Morton becomes 1st dentist to use ‘anesthetic’ (before that, it was the old mallet-to-the-head trick)

1950 [54] 1st ‘Grand Ole Opry’ to be televised

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2002 [02] Chris McAlister of Baltimore Ravens sets record for ‘longest play in NFL history’ by returning missed field goal 107 yards for a touchdown

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Oct 1] Homemade Cookie Day / World Vegetarian Day
[Oct 2] Name Your Car Day / World Farm Animal Day / Custodial Workers Day
[Oct 3] 2nd Western Canadian Music Awards (Calgary)
[Oct 4] Child Health Day / Toot Your Flute Day / UN Universal Children’s Day / UN World Habitat Day
[Oct 5] Techies Day / National Story Telling Day / World Smile Day / World Teachers Day / “Fahrenheit 9/11″ released on DVD
[Oct 6] Come & Take It Day / Frugal Fun Day / Physician Assistant Day / Lawyers Day
[Oct 7] 15th International Bluegrass Music Awards (Louisville KY)
[Oct 8] National Denim Day / “Friday Night Lights”, “Raise Your Voice” & “Taxi” open in movie theaters
[Oct 9] 2004 North American Wife Carrying Championship (Bethel ME) / World Monopoly Championship (Tokyo)
[Oct 11] Emergency Nurses Day / Columbus Day (USA) / Thanksgiving Day (Canada)
[Oct 12] International Moment Of Frustration Scream Day / Farmers Day / World Egg Day
[Oct 13] Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day / UN International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction
[Oct 14] Be Bald & Be Free Day / National Dessert Day
[Oct 15] National Grouch Day / National Poetry Day / Ramadan begins (Islam) / “Shall We Dance?” and “Team America: World Police” open in movie theaters
[Oct 16] Dictionary Day / World Food Day / School Librarian Day / National Bosses Day
[Oct 17] Gaudy Day / Sunday School Teacher Appreciation Day
[Oct 18] Persons Day (Canada) / No Beard Day / Sweetest Day / Hurricane Thanksgiving Day (Virgin Islands)
[Oct 19] Evaluate Your Life Day / “Ultimate Oliver Stone Collection” 14-disc DVD set released
[Oct 21] Babbling Day / Reptile Day / Canadian Urban Music Awards (Toronto)
[Oct 22] Frankenstein Friday / “Alfie”, “Surviving Christmas” & “The Grudge” open in movie theaters
[Oct 23] Canned Food Day / TV Talk Show Host Day / Nordic Music Awards (Oslo, Norway) / Make a Difference Day
[Oct 24] United Nations Day / National Bologna Day / Mother-In-Laws Day
[Oct 25] Punk For A Day Day / Cartoonists Against Crime Day / International Greasy Foods Day
[Oct 27] Cranky Co-Workers Day
[Oct 28] National Chocolate Day / Plush Animal Lovers Day
[Oct 29] Hermit Day / International Internet Day / “Ray” and “Saw” open in movie theaters
[Oct 30] Devils Night / Mischief Night
[Oct 31] Daylight Saving Time ends (2 am) / Halloween / National Magic Day / Increase Your Psychic Powers Day / UNICEF Day
[Nov 1] Vegan World Day
[Nov 4] Season premiere of “The OC”
[Nov 5]  Governor-General’s Performing Arts Awards
[Nov 6-9] World Championships of Hairdressing (Milan, Italy)
[Nov 9] 38th CMA Awards
[Nov 14] 32nd American Music Awards

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS DILEMMAS:
• Your spouse has become nervous wreck since she began day trading on the Internet. But she made $10K in a month. Do you make her stop?
• The teacher asks if you wrote your son’s book report. Your son claimed he did it but the teacher’s right. Do you admit it?
• You’ve sold your house. Before you move out, the roof starts to leak. Do you have it fixed?
• You need one number to win the jackpot at Bingo. The stranger beside you also needs one number and it’s been called. Do you tell her?
– High Game Enterprises

BS NAME THAT TOY:
Bring in toys that make noises. First caller to identify each wins whatever you wanna give ’em.
 
BS PHONAOKE:
Contestant has to get a total stranger to sing a song on a cell phone. They can stop at a convenience store, a bank – anywhere they don’t know anybody.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS is the only part of your body that can’t repair itself.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: Your teeth.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Consultants are mystical people who ask a company for a number and then give it back.