WEEKEND BLOG BS:
• 23-year-old “Twilight” actor Robert Pattinson has had a roller coaster ride from relative obscurity to global superstar in just 12 months, a meteoric rise in fame that’s turned him into a self-admitted recluse. He says he’s stopped trying to have a social life because he can no longer go anywhere without attracting a crowd. Nowadays, he laments, he only feels relaxed in the safety of a closed film set. (Beware of what you wish for.)
– “Hello! Magazine”
• The child actors who shot to fame in the Oscar-winning movie “Slumdog Millionaire” are heading back to work, reportedly signing to star in a new film with Anthony Hopkins. Rubina Ali (9) and Azhar Ismail (10) will appear in “Lord Owen’s Lady”, the story of a Welsh nobleman who falls in love with an Indian girl. (This time the kids might even earn over $12!)
– “The Sun”
• Michael Jackson’s white glove has sold for $49,000. The famous jewel-encrusted right-hand accessory, which he wore at his 1996 wedding to Debbie Rowe, is the first of his gloves to go on sale since his death. It’s been purchased by Las Vegas Hard Rock curator Warwick Stone at an auction in Australia. (50-grand for one glove? Where’s the mate, mate?)
– ContactMusic.com
• Is Salma Hayek more like her “30 Rock” character than we thought? She reportedly threw an extreme hissy fit recently when she couldn’t get a table at a restaurant. (Apparently, the ‘Black Widow’ gets cranky when she hasn’t been fed!)
– Dose.ca
• Nicole Richie is in hospital. The 27-year-old famous person, expecting her 2nd child with partner Joel Madden (Good Charlotte), reportedly checked into a Los Angeles medical center at the end of last week, a day after attending DJ AM’s memorial service. Her due date is believed to be early this month. The duo already have a 19-month-old daughter, Harlow. (Next: Garbo?)
– X17online.com
• And “Harry Potter” star Emma Watson (‘Hermione Granger’) is trying to act like a normal student, participating in ‘frosh week’ games & activities at Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. But any hope of blending in with fellow freshmen may have been doomed when the 19-year-old actress reportedly arrived … in a helicopter. She’s scheduled to major in English Literature. (After working on “Harry Potter” she’s anxious to find out what this ‘literature’ thing is.)
– HecklerSpray.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/A Channel) – Ten semifinalists perform.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Lady Gaga (“The Fame”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Boys Like Girls (“Love Drunk”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Cure (“4:13 Dream”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – John Fogerty (“Blue Ridge Rangers Rides Again”)
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Dhani Harrison (“You Are Here”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• The Beatles – A newly-found interview with John Lennon reveals that he told Paul McCartney he wanted ‘a divorce’ in September 1969, before the release of their final album “Let It Be” and months before the actual split-up. Common belief has always been that Paul brought on the break-up.
• Drake – Today he’s scheduled to undergo knee surgery after tearing an ACL in his knee while playing basketball in June, then ignoring doctors’ orders to take a break from performing and let it heal. He eventually was forced to leave the “America’s Most Wanted Music Festival” tour.
• Madonna – Word has it the 51-year-old is planning to run the grueling Marathon des Sables in Morocco next April, a 151-mile, 6-day race. A report says she has instructed her people to keep the schedule free for the entire month beforehand.
• Michael Jackson – The Holmby Hills, California house where he died will remain a private residence as the new owner has been unable to obtain authorization to turn the property into a museum/shrine. French designer Christian Audigier recently finalized the purchase of the estate, which Jackson had rented from one of his associates.
• Zac Brown Band – Today a new version of their album “The Foundation” goes on sale exclusively at Cracker Barrel stores, featuring 3 new live tracks, new artwork, and a bonus cookbook of Brown’s Southern-style recipes.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Crank: High Voltage” ( Action ): In this sequel to the 2006 action thriller, Jason Statham returns as assassin ‘Chev Chelios’, this time on a mission to find the mobster who replaced his nearly indestructible heart with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular electrical jolts to keep it going. Co-stars Amy Smart & Dwight Yoakam; Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington & Tool’s Maynard James Keenan have cameos. Also comes in a ‘Full Charged with Digital Copy’.
• Also released today: “Alvin & the Chipmunks Go to the Movies: Star Wreck” (Animation); “Bedknobs & Broomsticks – Enchanted Musical Edition” (Musical); “The Exorcist: The Version You’ve Never Seen” (Horror Thriller); “Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: Mickey’s Adventures in Wonderland” (Animation); “The Office: Season Five” (TV); “Parks & Recreation: Season One” (TV); “Shaq & Cedric the Entertainer Present: All-Star Comedy Jam” (Comedy); and “Valentino: The Last Emperor” (Documentary).

BE THANKFUL FOR THUNDER THIGHS:
Men & women with thighs over 60 cm (23.6 in) in circumference have a lower risk of heart disease and early death, a study of 3,000 people suggests. The better odds remain even when body fat, smoking, and blood cholesterol are taken into account, a Danish team says. Those with narrow thighs may not have enough muscle mass to deal with insulin properly, raising the risk of diabetes and, in turn, heart disease, they say. Experts caution that the new research needs corroboration. (If this proves true, now when you look in the mirror and say, “My thighs are huge!” … it’ll be a good thing.)
– BBC News

MOST OVERRATED TRAVEL SPOTS:
A new ranking of tourist destinations that leave you with the question, is that all there is?
1. Stonehenge, England.
2. Petra, Jordan.
3. The Colosseum, Rome.
4. Machu Picchu, Peru.
5. Angkor Wat, Cambodia.
And where did you travel this summer that was underwhelming?
– “Toronto Star”

WHEN SKIPPING TESTS IS GOOD:
Experts say you should make sure you really need to take a medical test before letting your doc administer it. Often, doctors are ordering tests just to project themselves in the event of a lawsuit. A full 16% of prostate-cancer screenings, for example, are unnecessary, say Harvard researchers. Since 80% of PSA results are false positives, thousands of men undergo needless biopsies each year. (Don’t get too excited, guys  … you still gotta do the rubber glove thing once a year.)
– “Men’s Health”

WHY DID THE SAMOAN CROSS THE ROAD?
Yesterday, residents of the small Pacific island nation of Samoa stopped their cars, crossed the road, and started driving on the other side. Samoa is believed to be the first nation since the 1970s to order drivers to switch, the main reason being that 2 of its biggest neighbors, Australia and New Zealand, drive on the left-hand side, whereas Samoans previously drove on the right. It’s thought that by aligning with New Zealand and Australia, it will be easier for poor Samoans to get cheap hand-me-down cars from the 170,000 or so Samoans who live in those countries. (Rush hour this morning is going to resemble a demo derby!)
– “Wall Street Journal”

WISHFUL THINKING:
Just 1-in-8 of us goes on to actually do the job we dream about as a child, a new Careers Advice Service survey has found. Why? More than 50% of us decide later in life that our original goal just doesn’t seem realistic as an adult. Kind of sad, isn’t it?
TOP 5 DREAM JOBS FOR BOYS:
1. Pro Athlete … 18%.
2. Entrepreneur/Businessman … 8%.
3. Rock Star … 7%.
4. Pilot … 6%.
5. Doctor 6%.
TOP 5 DREAM JOBS FOR GIRLS:
1. Teacher … 14%.
2. Doctor … 11%.
3. Vet … 11%.
4. Pop Star … 10%.
5. Businesswoman .. 6% .
– Telegraph.co.uk

DID YOU KNOW?
• Walmart is the biggest employer in the world, with about 1.4 million workers worldwide.
• NASA gave ‘moon rocks’ to more than 100 countries following lunar missions in the 1970s.
– “Magazine Monitor”

BS CHRONOMETER 09.08.09

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1971 [38] David Arquette, Winchester VA, movie actor (“Hamlet 2”, “Scream 1-3”)/Mr Courteney Cox since 1999/brother of actresses Patricia & Rosanna Arquette/spokesperson for the ‘Drive Out Hunger Tour’, currently trekking cross-country in a bid to collect for local food banks  UP NEXT: “Scream 4” (2010).

1971 [38] Brooke Burke, Hartford CT, TV personality (“Dancing With the Stars” 2008, “Rock Star” 2005–06, “Wild On!” 1999–2002)/model (“Playboy”, “Maxim”, “FHM”)

1979 [30] Pink (Alecia Moore), Doylestown PA, pop singer (“So What”, “Get The Party Started”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Andorran National Day” (‘Mare de Deu de Meritxell’) for the tiny principality that’s sandwiched between Spain and France. Andorra has the greatest life expectancy of any country: 82.7 years for a baby born now, compared with 81.2 in Canada and 78.1 in the USA.

• “International Literacy Day”, established by the UN in 1965 to promote reading & writing programs. Worldwide, 1-in-5 adults (about 774 million) are illiterate, and 75 million children are not in school. Millions of young people leave school without a level of literacy adequate for productive and active participation in today’s information society. (For more information, read their pamphlet.)

• “World Physical Therapy Day”, initiated in 1951 to recognize the work that physical therapists do for their patients and community. (What’s the strangest physio you’ve endured? Perhaps acupuncture needles … connected to electricity?)
NET: http://www.wcpt.org/wptday

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1966 [43] “Star Trek” premieres on NBC-TV (cancelled in April, 1969 after just 79 episodes)  FACTOID: It spawns perhaps the most successful TV/movie franchise in history with 4 spin-off TV shows (“The Next Generation”, “Deep Space 9″, “Voyager”, “Enterprise”), an animated series, and 10 motion pictures.

1986 [23] Syndicated “Oprah Winfrey Show” debuts (she’s now making over $300 million from it … per year)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1994 [15] Michael Jackson & Lisa Marie Presley open the 11th annual “MTV Video Music Awards” with a gushy kiss (yech!)

1996 [13] Rapper Tupac Shakur & Death Row Records Chairman Marion ‘Suge’ Knight are shot in a car while cruising in Las Vegas NV (Shakur later dies)

2006 [03] Country singer Toby Keith makes his bigscreen debut, producing and starring in the movie “Broken Bridges”

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1977 [32] Toronto’s Cindy Nicholas becomes 1st to swim English Channel non-stop … both ways

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1965 [44] Kansas City Athletics’ Bert Campaneris plays all 9 positions in a single Major League Baseball game (not at once)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] “Rock Band: Beatles” released
[Wed] Wonderful Weirdos Day
[Wed] Grammy Salute to Country Music (Nashville TN)
[Thurs] NFL Kick-Off (Pittsburgh PA)
[Thurs] Sunset Strip Music Festival begins (LA CA)

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Assisted Living Week / Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness / Fall Hat Week / Housekeepers Week / Line Dance Week / Payroll Week / Play Days / Suicide Prevention Week / Waffle Week

BULL’S BITS

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BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 16 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR ON YOUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL:
• “The new wood shop teacher has even fewer fingers than the last guy!”
• “Did you see the principal on ’60 Minutes’ last Sunday?”
• “Hi. I’m the most beautiful girl in the school and I won’t be going out with you again this year.”
• “I’m guessing you didn’t spend the summer at fat camp.”
• “My name is Mrs Rosenblum. You may remember me from last year as Mr Rosenblum.”
• “The creepo janitor’s got a cardboard cutout of you in the boiler room.”
• “Let’s pretend the falling flakes of asbestos are snow.”
• “I’m your new teacher, but there’s no sense learning my name … we’re going on strike again.”

BS WEB GOODIE:
Will what you do/eat/wear give you cancer? Or
cure you from cancer? The “Kill-or-Cure” website features an
alphabetical listing of everything that’s ever been reported as a
cancer cause (ie: flip-flops, Facebook, and alcohol) and everything
that’s ever been touted as a cure (ie: Brazil nuts, reheated spaghetti,
and alcohol). It’s a for-real list with archived newspaper articles to
back each claim.
NET: http://kill-or-cure.heroku.com

NEW BS COLLEGE COURSES FOR WOMEN:
• “Other Things to Do Other Than Apply Makeup & Brush Your Hair 110”
• “Don’t Play Hard to Get if You Are Hard to Want 916”
• “You Can Go to the Washroom All by Yourself 411”
• “Avoid Crying for No Damn Reason 202”
• “Two Pairs of Shoes is Plenty 324”
• “No, You Are Not Fat 203”
• “Shop Then Stop 911”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Eileen.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: An Austrian company created THIS in the 1920s to battle dreaded bad breath and it’s still available today.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Pez.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Nothing is interesting if you’re not interested.