BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
As ailing show biz mogul Dick Clark is set to celebrate his 80th birthday in November, a new documentary called “The Wages of Spin” threatens to tarnish his image by focusing on his early days as host of “American Bandstand” (1957-63), when he was accused of taking money to play music (somehow the payola charges never stuck) . . . 42-year-old famous person Pamela Anderson is being sued by 5 construction firms for over $1 million in alleged unpaid bills for work carried out on her new Malibu CA home (her plastic surgeon also wants payment for reno work) . . . “Desperate Housewives” star Teri Hatcher has raised over $20,000 for charity at a yard sale at her Studio City CA home where she sold off celeb loot to buyers who paid $50-a-head to get in (now that’s a ritzy garage sale!) . . . Courtney Love is claiming she was left so broke after her late husband Kurt Cobain’s estate was allegedly looted, she was forced to live on $14.32-a-week and had to rely on donations from strangers to pay her living costs (looking for sympathy after selling out his legacy, are we?) . . . And Love tells the UK’s “Style” magazine that actor Johnny Depp once saved her life by giving her CPR when she collapsed after a heavy duty session of booze & drugs (Johnny gargled with Lysol afterward, just to be safe).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Alice In Chains perform ‘live’ in a pre-recorded outdoor concert promoting the just-released new album “Black Gives Way to Blue”.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Sunny Day Real Estate (“Diary”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Miranda Lambert (“Revolution”).
• “Rock A Little, Feed A Lot” (Los Angeles) – Tonight’s benefit concert for Feeding America at Club Nokia features performances from Ben Harper, Sheryl Crow, and Good Charlotte’s Madden brothers with blues guitarist Jonny Lang.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Gloria Estefan guests hosts; Harry Connick Jr.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• AC/DC – They’ve launched a special new website which is promising an ‘exciting announcement’ today. Insiders expect it to be about the release of a major box set.
NET: http://www.acdcbacktracks.com/us/home
• Barbra Streisand – Today she releases her new studio album “Love Is the Answer”, her first effort since 2005 which finds her working with jazz diva Diana Krall and her band on a collection of new versions of standards, show tunes and more.
• Buckcherry – Today they release their first live album, “Live & Loud 2009”.
• 50 Cent – His “Before I Self Destruct” is finally ready for release today, now that it’s ‘perfect’ … according to him.
• Elvis Costello – Today he rolls out “The Costello Show Series”, a selection of rare live recordings from throughout his career to be released over the next year. First up is “Live At the El Mocambo”, a heavily bootlegged concert from March 6, 1978 in Toronto.
• Foreigner – Today the classic rockers release the new album “Can’t Slow Down” exclusively through Walmart, a 3-disc set that features a CD of new material, a concert DVD, and a best-of collection. It’s their first new release since 1995. Kelly Hansen has taken the place of original frontman Lou Gramm.
• Madonna – Today her greatest hits package “Celebration” is released, with tunes from her entire career including her latest, the title track. A companion video collection, the “Celebration DVD”, is also out. This is her final release for Warner Bros before she joins Live Nation under her new ‘360′ deal.
• Mariah Carey – Today she finally releases her 12th studio album, “Memoirs Of an Imperfect Angel”, which has been delayed twice.
• Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers – To promote their new box set, “The Live Anthology”, due in November, they’re launching the “Superhighway Tour” today, an online ‘virtual experience’ that basically allows fans to acquire the 48 tracks over an 8-week period.
NET: http://tompettysuperhighwaytour.com

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Away We Go” ( Comedy ): John Krasinski (“The Office”) & Maya Rudolph (“Saturday Night Live”) star as a couple expecting their first child, who travel around America seeking a perfect place to start their family. Along the way they have misadventures and find fresh connections with an assortment of relatives and old friends.
• “The Girlfriend Experience” ( Drama ): A Steven Soderbergh drama set in the days leading up to the 2008 US Presidential Election, centering on a high-end Manhattan call girl trying to meet the challenges of her boyfriend, her clients, and her work. Stars Sasha Grey and Chris Santos. Played in more film festivals than theaters.
• “Management” ( Romantic Comedy ): Jennifer Aniston plays a traveling saleswoman in the art business trying to shake off a flaky motel manager (Steve Zahn) who chases her across the country after she has an ill-advised fling with him. Woody Harrelson co-stars.
• “Monsters vs Aliens” ( Sci-Fi Animation ): Reese Witherspoon stars as a young girl who’s turned into a giant monster when a meteorite from outer space hits. When she’s taken to a secret compound she meets a ragtag group of monsters also rounded up. Voice cast also includes Hugh Laurie (“House”), John Krasinski (“The Office”), Kiefer Sutherland (“24”), Paul Rudd (“I Love You, Man”), Rainn Wilson (“The Office”), Stephen Colbert (“The Colbert Report”), and Seth Rogen (“Pineapple Express”). Also comes in a ‘Ginormous Double DVD Pack’.
• Also released today: “Batman Collection”; “Blade Collection”; “CSI: NY: The 5th Season”; “How I Met Your Mother: Season 4”; “Superman/Batman: Public Enemies – 2-Disc Special Edition”; “The Wizard of Oz – 70th Anniversary – 2-Disc Special Edition & Ultimate Collector’s Edition”.

MANLY MATTRESS:
After years of catering to women, bed manufacturers are now setting their sights on men. The new macho mattresses they’re introducing have ‘muscle-recovery properties’ and cooling technology, on the theory that men are more likely to feel too hot in bed. The bed frames feature built-in TVs, iPod docking stations, wine coolers, safes, and other guy-friendly gadgetry. But having a studly sack to sleep in is going to set you back: While a standard queen-size mattress costs around $800, these man-oriented beds can run up to the $50,000 range.
– “Wall Street Journal”

INSTRUCTIONS FROM 1930 STEWARDESS MANUAL:
If you’re afraid of flying now, imagine the terror you’d have experienced back in the day …
• “Keep the clock and altimeter wound up.”
• “Carry a railroad timetable in case the plane is grounded.”
• “Warn the passengers against throwing their cigars and cigarettes out the windows.”
• “Keep an eye on passengers when they go to the lavatory to be sure they don’t mistakenly go out the emergency exit.”
– “Sky as Frontier: Adventure, Aviation, and Empire”, by David T Courtwright.

WOOFER: THE ANTI-TWITTER:
For those of us who simply don’t get Twitter or are tired of the web’s fascination with the 140-character micro-blogging platform, here’s the anti-Twitter. Introducing macro-blogging wonder ‘Woofer’, where each post has a minimum of 1,400 characters! And yes, the entire thing is a spoof/homage of Twitter, made by Join the Company.
NET: http://woofertime.com
– Neatorama.com

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 100% of lottery winners admit they gained weight after their big score.
• 60% of us describe our own physical appearance as ‘average’.
• 49% of us take our shoes off at work.
• 39% of wives say they get help from their husbands cleaning house.
• 8% of women say the thing they notice first when they look at a guy is his booty.
• 5% of us admit to praying for something bad to happen to someone else.

CUSSING CURTAILED:
Researchers at Brigham Young University have discovered that profanity in teen movies is on a long-term decline. In fact, teens attending ‘G’, ‘PG’, and ‘PG-13′ rated movies now encounter less than half as many swear words as movie-goers did 25 years ago. Films targeting the teen market in the 1980s averaged 35 instances of profanity, compared with 25 in the 1990s, and just 16 in the 2000s. (Or 9,276 if you include “Knocked Up”.)
– “The Futurist”

BEST DANCE MOVIES OF ALL-TIME:
Well, here’s a good argument starter … what’s the top dance flick ever? How about …
10. “Billy Elliot” (2000)
9. “Step Up” (2006)
8. “Flashdance” (1983)
7. “Singin’ In the Rain” (1952)
6. “Saturday Night Fever” (1977)
5. “West Side Story” (1961)
4. “All That Jazz” (1979)
3. “Fame” (1980)
2. “Footloose” (1984)
1. “Dirty Dancing” (1987)
– Adapted from BestHealthMag.ca

REALLY OLD DUDES WITH PRETTY COOL JOBS:
Oldest College Basketball Player: Ken Mink, Roane State TN Community College (73).
Oldest Adult Film Star: Shigeo Tokuda of Japan (75).
Oldest College Football Coach: Joe Paterno of Penn State University (82).
Oldest World Leader: Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe (85).
Oldest Firefighter: Pennsylvania’s John Doster (89).
Oldest Doctor: Shigeaki Hinohara (97), practicing medicine in Tokyo since 1941.
Oldest Marathon Runner: India’s Fauja Singh (98).
Oldest Plumber: Pierre John ‘Buster’ Martin of London UK (102).
– Asylum.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• You lose around 11 ounces while you sleep.
• The average person flexes finger joints 25 million times in a lifetime.
• Fingernails grow faster on the hand you favor (ie: if you’re right-handed, your right fingernails grow faster) and the middle fingernail grows faster than all other nails.

BS CHRONOMETER 9.29.09

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TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1935 [74] Jerry Lee Lewis (‘Killer’), Ferriday LA, oldies rock ‘n roll singer (“Great Balls of Fire”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1986)/Hollywood Walk of Fame (1989)

1964 [45] Tom Sizemore, Detroit MI, oft-troubled movie actor (“Saving Private Ryan”, “Black Hawk Down”)

1980 [29] Dallas Green, St Catharines ON, alt-rock singer/songwriter (Alexisonfire-“Old Crows/Young Cardinals”, City & Colour-“Bring Me Your Love”)

1987 [22] Josh Farro, Voorhees NJ, rock guitarist (Paramore-“Crushcrushcrush”, “Hallelujah”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Michaelmas”, the feast day of St Michael the Archangel, the patron saint of exorcists. It’s also known as “Goose Day” in some places, thanks to the old English proverb which says, “If you eat goose on Michaelmas Day, you will never want money all the year round.” In the Middle Ages it celebrated the end of harvest, when laborers were paid for their work with meat, ale, fish, ale, good bread … and ale.

• “Pumpkin Day”, celebrating the orange member of the squash family best known for being carved into jack-o-lanterns or made into pie filling. It can also be boiled, sliced, fried, puréed or used in soups. The French make pumpkin jam and the Italians use it as a filling for sweet ravioli. Did you know that pumpkins are 90% water? Or that they were once recommended for removing freckles and curing snake bites?

• “Veterans of Foreign Wars Day”, honoring the 1899 establishment of the vets’ organization. For several years they seemed to be running out of potential members. Now they’re building up quite a crowd again.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1996 [13] “Nintendo 64” video game system is released and sells 500,000 units the first day

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1963 [46] The Rolling Stones 1st-ever tour (as opening act for Bo Diddley and the Everly Bros)

1999 [10] Mariah Carey’s “Heartbreaker” becomes her 14th #1 single on the “Billboard” ‘Hot 100′, a feat surpassed only by the Beatles (20) and Elvis Presley (18)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1987 [22] Compaq introduces its leading edge ‘Laptop Computer’, using an Intel 386 processor, weighing 20 lbs, and costing $10,000

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Women’s Health & Fitness Day
[Thurs] China’s 60th Anniversary Celebration
[Thurs] Vancouver International Film Festival begins
[Fri] “Capitalism: A Love Story”; “The Invention of Lying”; “Whip It”; “Zombieland” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Mirage Hotel & Casino 20th Anniversary Concert (Las Vegas)
[Fri] 2009 Billboard Women In Music Event (NYC)
[Fri] Techies Day
This Week Is … World Dairy Week
This Month Is … Children’s Good Manners Month

BULL’S BITS

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PROS & CONS OF VAMPIRE DATING:
Pros:
• Long relationships.
• Centuries of experience.
• Loves neck-nibbling.
• Never comes home with garlic breath.
• Don’t have to worry about what color of clothes to wear.
Cons:
• Spend all your time in a hypnotic daze.
• Always has cold feet (and blood).
• Calls you pet names that give you chills.
• Giggles at funerals.
• No romantic sunsets.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I grew up in a family of 10. That’s how I learned to dance … waiting for the bathroom.

BS ANIMALIA:
Q: What do you call a group of geese?
A: A group of geese on the ground is a ‘gaggle’, but a group of geese in the air is a ‘skein’.

Q: This animal is used by police to find dead bodies in lakes, ponds and swamps.
A: The snapping turtle, which eats carrion.

Q: What do you call a female ferret?
A: The female ferret is referred to as a `jill’.

Q: This animals heart is capable of pumping 200 liters of blood per minute – enough to fill the gas tank of a pickup truck 3 times faster than a gas pump.
A: Horse.

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the lamest excuse you’ve ever heard for being stood up on a date?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a “Men’s Health” magazine poll, THIS is the most loathsome job of all.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Telemarketer.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.