The Bull Sheet

September 15 2022

Thursday, September 15, 2022 — Edition: #7311

Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!


BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

★ Shock new couple Gigi Hadid and Leonardo DiCaprio have moved their romance into a more intimate phase, according to a report — but sources close to the pair say they are “taking it slow.” Rumors have been brewing for months that the 27-year-old model, and the 47-year-old superstar actor have been getting close while hanging with the same group of friends. But recently, they’ve apparently been going on dates as a twosome. The pair were spotted together Saturday night at an exclusive party thrown by DiCaprio’s friends at a loft in Soho. The “relatively new” relationship comes not long after it was revealed the “Titanic” star had split from his girlfriend of four years, Camila Morrone, just months after the model turned 25.
-PageSix
★ It’s already been reported that Prince Harry won’t be permitted to wear a military uniform to Queen Elizabeth II’s funeral on Monday. Now, the Duke of Sussex is speaking out about the matter. Entertainment Tonight reports that a spokesperson for Harry delivered a message about the news. It says: “Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex, will wear a mourning suit throughout events honoring his grandmother.” The statement continued: “His decade of military service is not determined by the uniform he wears, and we respectfully ask that focus remain on the life and legacy of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.” Harry is not entitled to wear his military uniform because he and his wife, Meghan Markle, stepped down from their positions as senior members of the royal family in 2020.
-PopCulture
★ The death of Queen Elizabeth II has launched “The Crown” into the Netflix’s Top 10 list. In the week following the Monarch’s death, the British royal drama entered in 7th spot with 17.7M hours viewed. The first season of The Crown premiered in 2016, long before the streamer started putting out detailed rankings. The drama series kicked off by starring Claire Foy as ‘Queen Elizabeth II’ and Matt Smith as ‘Prince Philip’. It traced her life from her wedding in 1947 to 1955, taking in the death of King George VI, Elizabeth’s ascension to the throne, and leading up to resignation of Winston Churchill as Prime Minister.
-Deadline
★ “Saturday Night Live” is set to return Oct.1, but for the first time in 10 years, Kate McKinnon won’t be stepping onto the stage in Studio 8H. She left the show following its 47th season in May, and now that former cast members are gearing up for the premiere, she told “Live From E!” host Laverne Cox what she’s going to miss the most about SNL – the people. While on the 2022 Emmys red carpet, she said: “It’s really a family: the cast, the crew, the writers, the producers.” She called the cast her “favorite people in the world. Just the most amazing group just doing this crazy thing week after week. I couldn’t ask for more.” Luckily, McKinnon still has lots to look forward to—including her role in Greta Gerwig’s highly-anticipated “Barbie film”, which she calls “incredible.”
-E!

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Sam Rockwell, Beto O’Rourke, Death Cab for Cutie
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Fred Armisen, Letitia Wright, David Blaine
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Queen Latifah, Nina Totenberg
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Hillary Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, Beth Ditto, Rick Smith
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Elisabeth Moss, Diego Luna, Caitlin Peluffo
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Rosie O’Donnell, Brian Baumgartner
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Viola Davis, Thuso Mbedu, Lashana Lynch, Sheila Atim
• “The Talk” (CBS): Dr. Phil McGraw
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Topher Grace, Jimmy Chin
• “Sherri” (Check local listings): Robin Roberts & Sergio Hudson
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Lin-Manuel Miranda, Ozuna, Angie Martinez
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Hillary Rodham Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, Chris Appleton
• “Press Your Luck” (ABC): Season 4 finale. Aleen, Jeremy Owusu and Barry compete in the Season 4 finale.
• “Generation Gap” (ABC): Season 1 finale. Host Kelly Ripa and the contestants do a 360 when Anderson Cooper makes a guest appearance and big prizes are on the line.
• “Great Chocolate Showdown (CW): In the Technique Test, the 5 remaining home bakers do the chocolate truffle shuffle and create a picture-perfect display made entirely out of chocolate.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake — leads the BET Hip Hop Awards 2022 nominations with 14. In several categories, he’ll be up against Kanye West, who has 10 nods, including the coveted Hip Hop Artist of The Year. Those 2 will face stiff competition from Cardi B, Doja Cat, Future, Kendrick Lamar, and Megan Thee Stallion. Fat Joe will host the ceremony Sept. 30 in Atlanta.
• Miley Cyrus – is being sued for allegedly posting an image of herself to social media. In a complaint filed Friday in LA, photographer Robert Barbera claims that Cyrus reposted his 2020 image – a snap of her waving to onlookers as she exited a building – without permission to do so. The lawsuit was filed by the same paparazzo who sued Dua Lipa for the same thing last month.
• Black Keys – drummer Patrick Carney and Michelle Branch have called off their divorce, at least for now. They paused divorce proceedings for at least 6 months as they try to reconcile, according to TMZ. Branch announced her separation from Carney on Aug. 11 and filed for divorce a few days later.
• John Mellencamp – One of his biggest albums, 1985’s “Scarecrow”, 1985, will get a Deluxe reissue Nov. 4. Three versions of the hit ‘Small Town’ have been released as a preview: A 2022 mix, an original demo, and an acoustic version. LINKS: https://tinyurl.com/4z9amryd  https://tinyurl.com/23k9sx9m https://tinyurl.com/mr4a5zh3
• Carlos Santana – resumed his Vegas residency last night, following his collapse mid-show in Michigan back in July. He was scheduled to play last night at Mandalay Bay, his first appearance in the city since the health scare. He was able to play the final 3 scheduled shows of his summer tour in late Aug.
• Jimmie Allen, Darius Rucker and Chris Young – will all participate in The Professional Bowlers Association’s celeb tournament on Oct. 5. The singers will head to Matthews NC, where they’ll be paired with pro bowlers. Allen, Young, and Chuck Wicks will also perform. Fox will air the fun on Oct. 16.
• Chris Lane – and his wife Lauren Bushnell have revealed that they are expecting a baby boy. For their gender reveal, Chris hit a ball with a baseball bat that expelled blue smoke into the air. Alongside video of the event set to the tune of his song ‘Ain’t Even Met You Yet’, the proud dad wrote on Instagram: “Dutty’s gonna have a little brother.” Dutty turned 1 in June. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3dwv4hj4
• Shania Twain – Her Las Vegas residency raised $150,000 for the Shania Kids Can Foundation. One dollar of every ticket purchased to her shows at Zappos Theater at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino went to the non-profit, which has been helping children facing poverty since 2010.

SHOOTING THE BULL

MAJESTIC MERCH:
It’s been only days since the death of Britain’s longest-serving monarch, and unofficial souvenirs have already rolled out at gift shops in London and online at places like Amazon and Etsy. There are fridge magnets, tea sets and flags. And mugs, of course, and T-shirts and sweatshirts with the face of Queen Elizabeth II that are inscribed with the dates of her 70-year reign: 1952-2022. Cool Britannia, a shop that sells memorabilia across the street from Buckingham Palace, pushed its suppliers to work overnight to get mementos ready by Saturday, just 2 days after the queen’s death. Meanwhile, items depicting the new monarch, King Charles III, are also on their way to shops, where tourists have been buying other royal gifts like queen bobbleheads and rubber ducks wearing crowns. Official merchandise will take longer to arrive to approved vendors, who have suspended sales of royal souvenirs out of respect for the mourning period.
(As much respect as I have for the man, I definitely don’t want to see his face on a mug before I’ve even had my first sip of coffee!)
(So you’re telling me those “Queen’s steaks” I picked up at the butcher shop aren’t official merchandise?)
-AP

EMBRACING SPACE:
➢ A company has announced plans to build a number of $5 billion resorts around the world — shaped like the Moon. Canada-based Moon World Resorts’ plans include a $198 million replica of…well…the moon which would contain facilities ranging from realistic lunar training to luxury apartments. MWR’s founders see it as an opportunity for people to experience space travel without the cost of actually leaving Earth. They plan to license 4 MOON resorts around the world: one in North America, Europe, Middle East-North Africa, and Asia. The multi-leveled MOON structure will contain a lunar surface and colony, as well as 4,000 hotel suites. Those will be above levels containing a theatre, potential casino, health spa, business and convention centre, as well as restaurants and boutiques. It promises to “deliver a dynamic and authentic experience on planet earth; available to all, not merely a few.” They hope to open the first location in 2027. (And sell it to Disney in 2029!)
➢ NASA plans to intentionally crash one of its spacecraft into an asteroid this month in a test that may one day protect Earth from catastrophe. On Sept 26, the space agency will use the Double Asteroid Redirect Test spacecraft (DART) as a battering ram to crash into an asteroid not too far away from Earth. While the asteroid poses no threat to Earth, “this is the first test of the kinetic impact technique, using a spacecraft to deflect an asteroid for planetary defense”, according to NASA. The DART system launched with a rocket from the Vandenberg Air Force Base in California last November. If things work out according to plan, NASA will try the technique on larger asteroids. (If it doesn’t, ah well, enjoy whatever time we’ve got left!)
-Talker

COMMON CLASHES:
What is the most-common argument you have with your significant other? According to a survey, some of the top things couples bicker about include leaving the toilet seat up, not putting dishes away, and leaving the lights on. The poll of 2,000 British adults living with a partner found 1 in 4 have been known knock heads over one of them starting on the housework, but not finishing it. Other quarrels near the top of the list: Not dusting properly, failing to “squeegee” the shower after use, crumbs in the bed, and whose turn it is to clean the floor. But we’re not done yet; also reported were clashes over how much time they spend on their phone, leaving dishes to soak for, like, ever, before washing them, and not taking the trash out.
(What? No one mentioned not flushing?)
(All of the above?)
(What odd argument could you and your sweetie add to the list?)
-StudyFinds

WALMART-SPEAK:
They don’t call them the “People of Walmart” for nothing. Twitter users have been sharing the strange things they’ve overheard there while shopping and minding their own business. Here are the best…
➠ Guy: “Nice t-shirt. What does the ‘F’ stand for?” Other guy: “Front. Not sure about the ‘B’ on the other side though.”
➠ “Y’all need to come over for dinner – we’re going to fry up those squirrels.”
➠ Woman: “Don’t break the eggs!” Man: “You picked up eggs?” Woman: “Yeah.” Man looks in cart: “Hatchimals are not real eggs…”
➠ “I have too much blood in my alcohol system.”
➠ “Oh my gosh! Water has NO calories! Did you know that? That’s so crazy”
➠ guy: so have you taken a shower yet? Girl: no but I was gonna take one when I got home
guy: so ur telling me you’ve been walking around all day with poop on ur head from a bird?
➠ “If it ain’t broke, don’t break it.”
➠ ‘Can you stop? This is why I can’t bring you places” – A woman just as she starts hula-hooping in the middle of an aisle
➠ “Are you sleeping in the horse trailer tonight?”
➠ A 4-yr old: “I’ll punch you right in the Sponge Bob!” Might have to use that prior to my next bar fight.
➠ (singing) “All I want for Christmas is my 10 front teeth…”
-ExcellentTown

DID YOU KNOW?
Queen Elizabeth II penned a top-secret letter — and it won’t be opened until the year 2085. She composed the note to the residents of Sydney, Australia in 1986 to celebrate the restoration of the city’s Queen Victoria Building. The structure, originally built in 1898 and named after the queen’s great-great grandmother Victoria, is located in the heart of the city’s downtown. The sealed letter is accompanied by these instructions for Sydney’s Lord Mayor. “On a suitable day to be selected by you in the year 2085 AD, would you please open this envelope and convey to the citizens of Sydney my message to them.”
-NYPost

BS CHRONOMETER 09.15.22

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Google.com Day”, Google was founded on September 4th 1998, however, it was registered as a domain on this day in 1997, 25 years ago. (Who says “Google.com”?)
• “Greenpeace Day”, honoring the 1971 founding of the internationally renowned environmental organization. A group of 17 activists initially formed in Vancouver BC to protest offshore nuclear testing in Alaska.
• “Someday”, How many tasks have you put off, saying you’ll get to them “someday”? Well, guess what? Time’s up, Someday is here. Get to work!
• “Double Cheeseburger Day”, The first double cheeseburger is said to have been thought of by someone at a California restaurant called “Bob’s Big Boy” in 1937. (A big, greasy thumbs up to him/her!)
• “Thank You Day”, a day to encourage kindness to those who let others go ahead of them in line, or hold doors open for strangers, or give gifts, or speak words of encouragement. But don’t just thank them today – thank them whenever you have a chance!
• “International Day of Democracy”, a UN observance since 2007, encouraging the freely-expressed will of people to determine their own political, economic, social, and cultural systems.
• “Caregivers Day”, recognizing the selfless people who do the chores for the sick and elderly that the rest of us can’t be bothered with. (How come one of the most important occupations is one of the poorest paying?)
• “International Dot Day”, to encourage people of all ages to harness their creativity. The inspiration is the children’s book “The Dot” by Peter H. Reynolds. It tells the tale of a teacher who challenges a pupil to take courage in her abilities, and from a dot on a page, the youngster goes on to make her mark.

COMING UP…
[Fri] Tattoo Story Day
[Fri] Stepfamily Day
[Sat] Batman Day
[Sun] Wife Appreciation Day
This Week is…International Housekeepers Week
This Month is…International Square Dancing Month

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1946 [76] Oliver Stone, NYC, movie director-producer-screenwriter with 4 Academy Awards (“Platoon” (2), “Born On the Fourth of July”, “Midnight Express”)

1946 [76] Tommy Lee Jones, San Saba TX, movie actor (“Men in Black” movies, “No Country For Old Men”, Academy Award-“The Fugitive”)

1961 [61] Dan Marino, Pittsburgh PA, retired NFL player (legendary Miami Dolphins QB, 9X Pro Bowl, Pro Football Hall of Fame, 2005)/NFL analyst (“The NFL Today on CBS” 2002-13)

1977 [45] Tom Hardy, London England, movie actor (“The Dark Knight Rises”, “Mad Max”) COMING UP…“Havoc”, 2022

1978 [44] Zach Filkins, Colorado Springs CO, pop-rock guitarist (OneRepublic-‘Counting Stars’, ‘Love Runs Out’)

1981 [41] Ben Schwartz, The Bronx NY, TV actor (‘Jean-Ralphio Saperstein’ on “Parks and Recreation” 2010-15, voice of “Sonic the Hedgehog” in movies)

1984 [38] Prince Harry (Henry Charles Albert David Windsor), London England, British royal (Duke of Sussex)/Prince Charles & Princess Diana’s second son, who’s 5th in line to the throne, after his elder brother William, and his niece and nephews

1986 [36] Heidi Montag, Crested Butte CO, reality TV star (“The Hills” 2006-10, “The Hills: New Beginnings” 2019, 2021, “I’m a Celebrity…Get Me out of Here!”, 2009)/married to Spencer Pratt since 2008

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1954 [68] The famous photo of Marilyn Monroe, laughing as her skirt is blown up by a subway vent, is shot during the filming of “The Seven Year Itch” (it infuriates her husband, Joe DiMaggio, and they divorce shortly afterward)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1994 [28] The earliest known recording of John Lennon, a performance by the Quarrymen at a 1957 parish garden party in Liverpool, fetches $125,000 at a Sotheby’s auction

2019 [03] The Cars frontman Ric Ocasek dies at 75

2020 [02] Sotheby’s holds the first-ever auction of hip-hop memorabilia, including Tupac Shakur’s love letters ($75,600), Slick Rick’s eye patch ($25,200), and Salt-N-Pepa’s jackets ($23,940). The marquee item is the plastic crown Notorious B.I.G. wore in his last photo shoot, which sells for $594,750

TODAY IN SPORTS . . .
2004 [18] NHL commissioner Gary Bettman announces a lockout of the players union and cessation of operations by the NHL head office. The 2004-05 season was subsequently cancelled

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2021 [01] SpaceX launches the first all-civilian spaceflight from Cape Canaveral, Florida, for A 3-day orbit around Earth

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2008 [14] NYC-based financial services firm Lehman Bros files the largest bankruptcy in US history, eventually contributing to a global financial meltdown and recession

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ A bolt of lightning can reach 54,0000° F (30,000°C), 5 times hotter than the surface of the sun.
✓ The vast majority of blind people in the US and UK cannot read braille.
✓ It takes approximately 12 hours for food to entirely digest.
✓ If your last name is closer to the end of the alphabet, you’re more likely to be an impulse spender.
✓ Most female cats prefer using their right paw, and males are more likely to be left-pawed.
✓ About 40% of the ants in a colony are “lazy” and spend most of their time just sitting around.
-UberFacts, QuiteInteresting

BS EXAGGERATED FILM QUOTES:
• “E.T. phone home this instant. Your mother’s worried sick.”
• “What I do have is a particular set of skills accrued from 2 years of prep school, 4 years of undergraduate work, and 3 years of post-grad.”
• “What we’ve got here, is a failure to communicate. I mean, what are you speaking, Swahili?”
• “We’ll always have the entire country of France”
• “With great power comes great electricity bills.”
• “Do or do not, I’ve had it up to here with your whining, already.”
• “These go to 12.”
• “Mr. and Mrs. Robinson, you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?”
• “I’ll have what she’s having, but supersize it.”
• (***Caution***) “GTFO, Forrest, GTFO!”
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS MORE ACCURATE SLOGANS:
• BenGay: You’ll only mistake it for toothpaste once
• Gillette: The best a man can get — at Walmart
• Motel 6: We’ll leave the crime scene tape up for ya
• WebMD: Convince yourself that you have a terminal illness
• Taco Bell: Make a run for the bathroom
• IKEA: If you’re not fighting with your wife now, just give it a minute
• Allstate: Like a good neighbor, stay over there
• Fox News: Fairly unbalanced
• Klondike: What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2019

BS WEB GOODIE:
Halloween training?  https://tinyurl.com/3ny7eazv

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I’d like to thank whoever told my mom that “WTF” means “Wow, that’s fantastic”. It’s so much more fun to text with her now…

BS PHONE STARTER:
What television series had the perfect ending?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  A study found that you’re more likely to befriend a person whose WHAT is similar to yours?
Answer:  Body odor/smell

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.

 

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