Thursday, September 14, 2023 — Edition: #7554
Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ ABC’s “Good Morning America” has revealed the celebrities who will be joining Jamie Lynn Spears, Ariana Madix and Charity Lawson for Season 32 of “Dancing With the Stars.” Celeb competitors include Jason Mraz, Mira Sorvino, Xochitl Gomez, Adrian Peterson, Lele Pons, model and actor Tyson Beckford, “Too Hot to Handle’s” Harry Jowsey, “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star Mauricio Umansky, Alyson Hannigan, Matt Walsh, and “The Brady Bunch’s” Barry Williams. The hit dancing competition returns on Sept. 26.
-PopCulture
★ CBS has found its “Late Late Show” replacement, and it’s not what many were expecting. The network is officially ditching the late-night talk show, at least for now, following James Corden’s departure and the ongoing WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Instead, the long-running syndicated comedy talk show “Comics Unleashed With Byron Allen” is joining the late-night lineup. The series will be going for a limited run to account for the strikes beginning on Monday at 12:37AM ET with 2 back-to-back episodes each night. Comics Unleashed is hosted by Allen and features a rotating panel of comedians. It currently airs on 14 CBS stations.
-PopCulture
★ Although she was labeled the “world’s richest actress” by Forbes, Reese Witherspoon wants you to know that she’s not a billionaire. Speaking at the INBOUND conference in Boston, days after 70% of her fashion brand Draper James was acquired by Consortium Brand Partners, Witherspoon says any speculation she had reached billionaire status is false. She said: “That’s enormously flattering and if I ever touched the bottom of whatever Oprah’s magic golden boots do, I would be so lucky”. It is true, though, that in 2021, Witherspoon sold her production company for $900 million, and that’s probably what caused the billionaire rumors. In June, Forbes pegged her net-worth at $440 million.
-NYPost
★ Pete Davidson has come clean – literally. The “Saturday Night Live” alum, who embarked on a comedy tour with John Mulaney and Jon Stewart this month, began his set in Atlantic City by announcing to the crowd: “I am fresh out of rehab, everyone. I got that post-rehab glow. Seventh time’s the charm!” He revealed during his routine that he took ketamine, a dissociative anesthetic drug that can have hallucinogenic effects, every day over a 4-year period, before to checking into rehab in June. Now, though, Davidson, who turns 30 in November, says he’s ready to turn over a new leaf. He explained: you “can’t do drugs in your 30s” because “it’s not cute anymore,” and at that point “you’re just a drug addict.”
-EW
★ The whodunit series “Murder, She Wrote” is getting a movie reboot. Lauren Schuker Blum and Rebecca Angelo, the writing duo behind the Toronto International Film Festival hit “Dumb Money,” say they have written the script for the film, which will be produced for Universal. The film is currently on hold during the strike. Originally running on CBS from 1984-1996, “Murder, She Wrote” starred Angela Lansbury as a mystery writer who applies her skill to solving real life homicides.
-TheWrap
★ D’oh! The longest-running primetime scripted show in TV history is set to return. Fox has released an extended trailer of “The Simpsons” upcoming 35th season. According to the network, “This season Marge experiences…nightmares about…Bart’s childhood coming to an end; Homer accidentally volunteers for a school crossing guard position; and 60 years in the future, Lisa recounts the story of how Homer was scapegoated for a power outage that plunged Springfield into darkness, days before Thanksgiving.” Plus, the annual chilling trilogy “Treehouse of Horror” is back! The new season will premiere Oct. 1. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3uv5ymvs
-PopCulture
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Brie Larson, Josh Duhamel, Macklemore (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Rosie O’Donnell, SUGA (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Michelle Obama, Quinta Brunson, Tom Papa (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Allison Williams, S.S. Rajamouli (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ansel Elgort, Jane Levy (R)
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Graham Norton, Yvonne Orji
• “The Talk” (CBS): Tichina Arnold, Julia Schlaepfer (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Tamron Hall, Henrik Lundqvist
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Billy Eichner, Luke Macfarlane, Jim Rash and Symone (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Chloe Bailey (R)
• “The Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Chance the Rapper, Michael Airhart, John Eze Uzodinma II (R)
• “The Prank Panel” (ABC): Electrician Stepdad; Spa-Mageddon
• “Big Brother” (CBS): Following a live vote, a houseguest is evicted, those remaining compete to be the next head of household.
• “Buddy Games” (CBS): Premiere. Josh Duhamel hosts a competition where teams of adult friends compete in summer camp-themed challenges.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Olivia Rodrigo – was mentored by none other than Katy Perry. In a Rolling Stone story, Perry said of the ‘Drivers License’ singer: “The first time I met her, I put my hands on her shoulders and was like, ‘Listen, I’m here. Whatever you need.’ Because I know exactly what these pop girlies are going through, and when I was growing up, no one really did that for me.”
• Doja Cat – Her single ‘Paint the Town Red’ has hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. It’s her second chart-topper, following ‘Say So’ ft. Nicki Minaj, in 2020. It is also the first rap Hot 100 #1 in over a year.
• Elton John – Songwriting partner Bernie Taupin says in his new book “Scattershot: Life, Music, Elton & Me” (out now) that he wrote ‘Don’t Go Breaking My Heart’ while drunk, he once punched John Belushi, and he couldn’t recite the lyrics to ‘Candle in the Wind’ “if you put a gun to my head”. The song is the 2nd-best-selling single of all time.
• Metallica — has formed a partnership with dessert company Enlightened to create a guitar-shaped ice cream bar in support of food banks. The vanilla ice cream coated with dark chocolate is modeled after the James Hetfield Signature Series Truckster Guitar. Enlightened worked with ESP Guitars to actually recreate the exact dimensions of the iconic guitar. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2s44s6m9
• The Who – Pete Townshend discussed the future of the band with Uncut, saying he feels that Roger Daltrey is “singing great” these days, and “I’m playing as well – and better – than I ever have before.” The 78-year-old continued, saying: “like the Stones and McCartney, we’re pushing the age envelope as far as it can possibly go.”
• Maren Morris – will release 2 new songs tomorrow. The 2-pack “The Bridge” includes ‘The Tree’ and ‘Get The Hell Out Of Here’. To explain, she wrote on IG: “’The Bridge’ honors where I’ve been and but also feels like a forward step into the sun.” The new songs will also be a part of a future album. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/2p7eys2c
• James Barker Band – the ‘Chills’ hitmakers will release their label debut EP, “Ahead of Our Time,” on Oct. 20. The 6-song set includes the single ‘Champagne’, which has just been released. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/ydcksb42
• Keith Urban — has announced the return of his “All for the Hall” benefit concert. He’ll co-host, along with Vince Gill, at Nashville’s Bridgestone Arena on December 5. Also performing: Kelsea Ballerini, Dierks Bentley, Brooks & Dunn, Jordan Davis, Patty Griffin, Mickey Guyton, HARDY, Patty Loveless, Trisha Yearwood and more. Proceeds go to the Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum’s educational programs. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/y45vjb6n
SHOOTING THE BULL
TIKTOK DOC:
I’m really starting to wonder how we ever got along before TikTok. A woman on the site revealed her easy hack to get rid of a migraine headache — with no side effects. In her video, she said that she has suffered from migraines “forever” and has found relief by simply soaking her feet in hot water. And apparently, it works, because Dr. Kunal Sood, an acute and chronic pain doctor from Maryland, reacted to her post, saying that soaking your feet in hot water can help relieve you of aches without any of the side effects of medications. How? He explained that hot water helps to dilate the blood vessels in your feet, which pulls blood from your head down to your feet. When that happens, the pressure in the head area is eased. The clip went viral, with 3.1 million views, and people flooded the comments claiming that the trick worked for them. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3htjzrt3
(I’m pretty sure there are a lot of teachers who are going to be delighted to hear this!)
(Oh, right! Before TikTok, we watched YouTube ‘How To’ videos!)
-NYPost
FOOD NEWS:
➢ Nissen, the maker of Cup Noodles, has announced it will sell caffeinated noodles, with the idea that its product will help all-night video gamers stay awake. The caffeinated noodles will come in 2 flavors: garlic and black pepper yakisoba (which contains shrimp, pork, egg and cabbage), and curry, which uses a base of pork and vegetables. Both products are sauce-based and “soup-free, so there is no need to worry about getting your hands or peripherals dirty, making them the perfect meal in between game-playing sessions,” according to the company. (Also, no need for Red Bull OR pizza rolls. Hey! These guys might be on to something!)
➢ The days of the self-serve soda fountain are numbered at McDonald’s. The fast-food giant plans to phase out the do-it-yourself stations over the next decade, citing hygiene, theft, and changing consumer eating habits. After the pandemic spurred the company to prioritize minimizing human contact, McDonald’s is moving to a system that gives diners the feel of a restaurant by having someone bring their food and drink. But don’t mourn the demise of self-serve soda too much – the company says refills will continue to be free, even after the machines are phased out, by 2032. (So let me get this straight – You want me to place my own order on a filthy public screen, and eat at a table someone else used 15 seconds ago, but it’s unsanitary to pour my own drink – even though I don’t have to touch anything but my own cup to do that?)
-CNN, NYPost
REFRAMING GAMING:
Maybe the stereotype of the video game-playing slacker who stays up all night smoking weed (and eating caffeinated pasta), who can’t hold a job and never goes outside, is a bit harsh. Well, actually – yeah, that IS harsh – especially in light of this: Three in 4 mobile gamers swear video games have improved their lives. In a survey of 2,000 gamers in the US shows, 67% said games are good for their problem-solving skills, 62% felt gaming sharpens their critical thinking capabilities, 61% said it helps with their hand-eye coordination. Respondents also claimed video games have helped them in cooperating with others, playing certain sports, and even driving. And perhaps most importantly, more than two-thirds said that their moods are positively impacted by playing video games. Of them, 51% feel more relaxed, 27% feel happier and 19% feel sharper.
(Great – but if you need video games to improve your driving, you shouldn’t be driving!)
(Weird that no one mentioned the fact that, thanks to gaming, they are at very low risk for skin cancer!)
-SWNS
FUNNIEST TWEETS OF THE WEEK FROM WOMEN:
⇒ People who camp are like, “But camping is so much fun!” and then tell you a story about how they had to fight a raccoon at 2 AM. — Jessie
⇒ fascinated that anyone in their 20s could have a home decor style beyond “this was free on marketplace”, “this was my grandma’s” or “I live near an outlet mall and checked daily for a year until a couch was marked under $500” — emily
⇒ “I’m not high-maintenance am I?” I ask my boyfriend, as we walk into the third grocery store in search of the exact brand of water I like – Ginny Hogan
⇒ IKEA is the most expensive escape room — Midge
⇒ i told my dad about my breakup and he was like ‘the clash broke up, too’ – Jamie Loftus
⇒ Characters in books always have “piercing” blue eyes. I want to read a book where someone has “dull” blue eyes. — Lindsay
⇒ life with astigmatism is more romantic because every light is a twinkle light — delia
⇒ there are two types of grandmas. regular grandma and cigarette grandmas. and u can tell when somebody was raised by a cigarette grandma – noemmeG
-HuffPost
EVEN MORE MORE FUNNIEST CITY NAMES:
Because why not? More from car rental site www.VroomVroomVroom.com’s list of the World’s Top 120 Cities with Funny Names…
❑ Lick Fork, Virginia
❑ Looneyville, Texas
❑ Kill, Ireland
❑ My Large Intestine, Texas
❑ Upperthong, England
❑ No Name, Colorado (Definitely your ‘generic’ small town…)
❑ Odd, West Virginia
❑ Peculiar, Missouri (The place to live when Odd, West Virginia just isn’t odd enough…)
❑ Ogre, Latvia (‘Ogre’ is Russian for ‘eels’, which still seems like an odd thing to name a town after!)
❑ Wagga Wagga, Australia
❑ Vulcan, Alberta, Canada
❑ Ugley, England (A beautiful place – with an unfortunate marketing problem!)
-VroomVroomVroom
DID YOU KNOW?
The “5-year plan” isn’t really a thing anymore. The average person is now planning 12 years ahead, according to new research. A survey of 2,000 employed Americans found that when thinking about saving for the future, nearly three-quarters of respondents said the 5-year plan is less achievable today than ever before, due inflation and school debt. To help reach their goals, nearly 4 in 10 said they’d take a second job to help put money towards their future. Others would prioritize necessary purchases and cut down on impulse spending (48%) while another 46% would work extra hours to prepare for their future. (I would too, but, hey — I pay for 5 different streaming services – and darn it…I’m gonna use ‘em!)
-SWNS
BS CHRONOMETER 09.14.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• Parents Day Off Day”, founded in 2021 to show appreciation for parents and encourage them to take a much-deserved break. Once school starts, parents should have a bit of time to take a breather. Taking time for yourself benefits you and the entire family. (Day off? Maybe a half-hour…)
• “Cream-Filled Donut Day” … a holiday for cops? The most popular cream-filled donuts are chocolate cream and vanilla cream. (Why eat a regular donut when you can replace the empty space of the hole with delicious cream…or jelly…for the same price??)
• “Eat a Hoagie Day”, celebrating the super-sized sandwich also known as a sub, grinder, hero, Italian sandwich, po’ boy, wedge, zeppelin, or torpedo. What’s the best combo?
• “National Coloring Day”, not to be confused with National Coloring Book Day, which is observed in August. Today is about adding a splash of color to your life, with or without coloring books. (Crayons are just like M&Ms . . . they taste the same no matter what color they are!)
• “Gobstopper Day”. Also commonly called jawbreakers, they are hard candies—so hard that they can’t safely be bitten into. They are usually round, between 1-3cm in diameter, but can be larger. Gobstoppers consist of layers that are different colors, and sometimes different flavors.
• “Live Creative Day”, take the time to invent, discover and dream. Incorporating creativity, through a variety of media from painting and graphic art to music and gardening, has a positive impact on our lives. (The only thing I’m capable of creating is an excuse!)
• “World Hearing Voices Day”, for those who receive advice, encouragement, and even laughter from others … who aren’t really there. (Something tells me you should visit this website: https://www.intervoiceonline.org/world-hearing-voices-day#content )
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Caregivers Day
[Fri] Double Cheeseburger Day
[Sat] Locate an Old Friend Day
[Sun] Wife Appreciation Day
This Week is…Beauty & Barber Week
This Month is…Hunger Action Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1947 [76] (Nigel) Sam Neill, Omagh Northern Ireland, movie actor (“Jurassic Park” movies, “The Piano”)/TV actor (“Crusoe” 2008-10, “The Tudors” 2007-08) COMING UP… “Scarygirl”, 2023
1958 [65] Terry Dubrow, Los Angeles CA, plastic surgeon/TV personality (“Botched” since 2014, “The Real Housewives of Orange County”)/brother of late Quiet Riot singer Kevin Dubrow
1973 [50] Andrew Lincoln, London England, TV actor (‘Rick Grimes’ on “The Walking Dead” 2010-18)/movie actor (“Love Actually”) COMING UP… “The Walking Dead: The Ones Who Live,” 2024
1973 [50] Nas (Nasir bin Olu Dara Jones), Brooklyn NY, rapper (‘It Was Written’)
1978 [45] Ron DeSantis, Jacksonville FL, US politician (Governor of Florida since 2019, US House of Representatives Florida 2013-18, current candidate for Republican nomination for president of the US)
1999 [24] Emma Kenney, Manhattan NY, TV actress (‘Debbie’ on the American “Shameless” 2011-21, “The Conners” since 2018)
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2009 [14] Patrick Swayze dies in Los Angeles at 57 after a long battle with cancer
2017 [06] Selena Gomez reveals that due to her battle with lupus, she has undergone a kidney transplant, donated by her friend Francia Rais
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002 [21] No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani marries Bush frontman Gavin Rossdale in London, England (they divorce in 2016)
2013 [10] John Legend marries model Chrissy Teigen at in Lake Como, Italy
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1984 [39] Dan Aykroyd & Bette Midler host the first “MTV Video Music Awards” at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall (The Cars win “Best Video” for ‘You Might Think’)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1987 [36] The ‘Largest-Ever Newspaper Edition’ is published, as the Sunday “New York Times” features 1,612 pages and weighs in at 12 lbs [5.4 kg] (We hope carriers were tipped well that week….)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The words coffee and chocolate sound remarkably similar across most languages.
✓ Kids who got slimed on Nickelodeon’s “You Can’t Do That on Television” were paid an extra $150 for their troubles.
✓ Both optimists and pessimists brace for the worst when awaiting potential bad news.
✓ Workaholics generally get less work done because they take on too much, and tend to be disorganized.
✓ That ‘old person smell’ is actually caused by a chemical, called 2-nonenal, that older people secrete through their skin.
✓ A Georgia man named Gary Duda legally changed his first name to ‘Zippidy’.
-UberFacts, BathroomReadersInstitute
Best of BS . . .
BS TIPS FOR SURVIVING COLLEGE:
• Enjoy being a freshman … it’ll be the best 3 years of your life.
• If an 8:00 am class is required for your major, change your major.
• Minimize food budget by scheduling classes around Happy Hour.
• Lemon juice and baking soda make an excellent bong-water stain remover.
• Only allocate half your weekly budget for cheap draft and chicken wings.
• In a pinch, milk can be used as a beer substitute in your breakfast cereal.
• Clever margin re-sizing can turn a 4-page outline into a 100-page essay.
• Don’t think of it as sleeping with your professor … think of it as ‘acing Biology’.
-First published in BS in 1998
TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ Jimmy Fallon has apologized to his staff after that “toxic workplace” story broke. (He treats his staff so badly that several have left to go work in an Amazon fulfillment center…)
➠ Scientists say they’ve been able to successfully manipulate the dreams of rats. (Sweet! So that must mean they’ve got that whole Global Warming thing figured out then, huh?)
➠ A study says you should wait 5 years before making jokes about a major tragedy. (So, stay tuned for some killer “Aaron Rodgers’ Achilles tendon” jokes . . . coming to this radio station in the fall of 2027!)
➠ Scientists say they have made a new material that can stretch up to 20 times its original length, without breaking. (Wait, I thought we already had this in Caitlyn Jenner’s face?)
➠ According to a report, men are most attracted to women in their 20s. (That’s according to a study performed by scientists who don’t like to work too hard…)
BS WEB GOODIE:
Made me laugh…What? Just me? (sound up): https://tinyurl.com/46adyfa6
BS RANDOM JOKE:
We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it ‘On-And-On Anon’.
BS PHONE STARTER:
If someone was making a movie about your life, who would play your parents?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: A survey found that 1 in 7 people would end a new relationship if they were not compatible in THIS area. What is it?
Answer: The food they eat
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Whenever you’re wrong admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.