Wednesday, September 18, 2019       Edition: #6533

We’ve Got Our Sheet Together!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Doctors are rushing Alex Trebek in for an unexpected round of chemotherapy because his battle with pancreatic cancer has taken a turn for the worse. He announced Tuesday morning, “This past summer we thought I was finished with chemo. That was a bit premature and certainly overly optimistic.” Trebek says he started immunotherapy … but it didn’t work. He went on to say with a smile that chemo “worked very well the first time, so, we’re expecting good results again.” He was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer in March.
-TMZ
★ Duane Chapman has been hospitalized after suffering a “heart emergency.” The “Dog the Bounty Hunter” star is awaiting news on whether or not the medical issue will require surgery. Chapman reportedly felt pain in his chest over the weekend and was taken to hospital near his Colorado home. Doctors are performing tests to determine the problem. His rep says, “Dog is under doctor’s care and is resting comfortably. Thank you for all of your well wishes- keep ’em coming.” It’s been a tough year for Chapman and his family: His wife Beth died in late June, following a battle with cancer.
-TasteofCountry
★ Netflix is set to lose “Friends” and “The Office” in the next couple of years. But, ‘Yada, yada yada…’ because the streaming giant has plans to replace them with another groundbreaking NBC sitcom. Netflix announced on Monday that it has landed the global rights to “Seinfeld”. The comedy, which ran from 1989 to 1998, will make its Netflix debut in 2021. “Seinfeld” had been available on Hulu since 2015.
-TheWrap
★ Fifteen months after his death, more than 200 items once owned by TV personality and chef Anthony Bourdain will be auctioned off. The auction will take place online in October via “Antiques Roadshow” auctioneer Lark Mason. Sixty percent of funds raised will benefit the “Parts Unknown” host’s wife and daughter. The other 40 percent will benefit a study-abroad scholarship created in Bourdain’s name at his alma mater, the Culinary Institute of America.
-Grubstreet
★ Warner Bros. has optioned the film rights to “Funko”, the toy company that specializes in the collectible Funko Pop! figurines and bobblehead dolls. Warner Animation is planning to develop and produce an animated feature film based on the toys, which all share the distinctive blocky heads and round, dark eyes and have become a craze in recent years for collectors. Warner Animation has had great success with the pop cultural brand mash-ups found in the “Lego Movie” films and their spinoffs. Also on the way: “Scoob,” “Space Jam 2” and “Tom & Jerry”.
-Yahoo

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Zach Galifianakis, Lake Bell, Fitz and the Tantrums
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Sarah Paulson, Dennis Miller, Tyler “Ninja” Blevins, Residente featuring Bad Bunny
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Billy Crystal, Thomas Rhett
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Chelsea Handler, Sara Gilbert, Tove Lo, Yesod Williams
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Kirsten Dunst, Billy Porter, Andrew Orolfo
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Jim Gaffigan, Sarah Tiana, Fred Armisen
• “Conan” (TBS): “Scrapisode”
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Tanya Tucker, Brandi Redmond
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Chelsea Handler
• “The Talk” (CBS): Liv Tyler
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Sara Gilbert, the winner of “So You Think You Can Dance”
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Renee Zellweger, Katy Perry, the star of the upcoming season of “The Bachelor”
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, Ryan Seacrest, Justin Guarini
• “American Horror Story: 1984 ” (FX): Season 9 premiere
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): Live results finale
• “MasterChef” (FOX): Season 17 finale

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift — is lending her talents to “The Voice” again this season. She’ll be serving as “Mega Mentor.” The Mega Mentor helps in the show’s Knockout Rounds. Swift previously served as a Mega Mentor on season seven.
• Halsey – says she set out to make “angry” and “dark” music for her upcoming album. According to her, she “wasn’t mad. It’s exciting. … I’m closing a chapter in this record that I feel very much like I needed to put the final word on, put the nail in the coffin, if you will.” “Manic” comes out Jan. 17.
• Rod Stewart — has revealed he has beaten prostate cancer, after secretly fighting the disease for over 3 years. He was diagnosed in February 2016. He said: “If you’re positive, and you work through it and you keep a smile on your face… I’ve worked for two years and I’ve just been happy, and the good Lord looked after me.”
• Ric Ocasek — Fans of the late Cars singer have found a special way to honor him. On Monday, fans began setting up a memorial outside his New York townhouse where toy cars were placed among the collection of candles and flowers. It has been determined that his cause of death was “hypertensive and atherosclerotic cardiovascular disease”. In layman’s terms, that means he had heart disease caused by high blood pressure.
• Ozzy Osbourne – has ended a record 30-year gap between Billboard Top 10 hits, thanks to his appearance on Post Malone’s song ‘Take What You Want’. Ozzy’s last appearance in the Top 10 was his 1989 duet with Lita Ford, ‘Close My Eyes Forever’.
• Sinead O’Connor – claims that Prince once attacked her at his house in Malibu, and that he left another woman “in hospital with broken ribs”. When asked about her relationship with Prince after a performance of her 1990 hit ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’, which was written by the Purple One, she said: “We met once but we didn’t get on very well, we tried to beat each other up. Well it was more that he was trying to beat me up and I was defending myself.”
• Simply Red — will head out on an autumn UK tour in 2020 in support of their upcoming LP “Blue Eyed Soul”, out Nov. 8. The group has booked an 11-date run, kicking off in Newcastle October 6, and wrapping in Bournemouth on October 23.
• Kip Moore – told the crowd at the “Boots in the Park” festival in California on Saturday that he wants to become a father within three years. He said that the topic came up in a conversation with his mother earlier in the day when she told him that she is “ready to have a grandbaby”.
• Jason Aldean — has a few weeks left on his “Ride All Night Tour”, but he is already plotting the next one. He has just announced he will kick off his “We Back Tour” on Jan. 30 in Columbia, South Carolina. The tour is named after Aldean’s debut single from his upcoming “9” album, out Nov. 22.

MONEY SHOT:
If you think you’re on the cusp of technology by paying for things with an app on your smartphone, think again. Shoppers in China are increasingly purchasing things by simply smiling for the camera. Well, maybe not smiling, but at least looking into a camera. China’s mobile payment capabilities are some of the most advanced in the world, but the new systems, which require only face recognition, allow consumers to grab their goods and go without a wallet, cash or a smartphone. To use facial payment technology, customers make a purchase by simply posing in front of point-of-sale machines equipped with cameras, after linking an image of their face to a digital payment system or bank account. Experts are predicting enormous growth for the technology, and a recent upgrade uses a machine roughly the size of an iPad to handle facial analysis and process payment.
(It’s just like having your picture taken at the licence bureau…and we know how efficient THAT is!)
(And if you’re a twin, you have a 50% chance of getting your stuff for free!)
(And once again, Brad Pitt is able to put his purchases on my tab…)
-CTV

A FEW Z’S, IF YOU PLEASE:
There is new evidence that napping one to two times per week may lower your risk of heart attack or stroke. Researchers in Switzerland looked at healthy adults and found that those who take occasional naps had a lower risk for cardiovascular disease compared to people who do not nap at all. Nap length did not appear to influence the findings, but benefits to the heart appeared to disappear in those who nap more frequently than once or twice per week. The results of the study were published in the journal “Heart”.
(I DREAM of napping that often…literally!)
(I would nap that often, but I.T. told me to be careful how much drool gets on my keyboard…)
(One to two a week?  Amateurs! I shoot for one to two a day!)
-Today

ETIQUETTE RULES THAT ALL NEIGHBORS NEED TO FOLLOW:
☞ Smile and Wave:  A smile, a wave, a brief exchange of pleasantries, can inspire a lot of goodwill with your neighbors. It doesn’t take much and makes the neighbourhood a happier place. (We interact online with people all over the world, but intentionally look the other way when the neighbor is in his driveway!)
☞ Learn their names:  Good neighbors make the effort to learn their neighbors’ names and a few things about them. It can help make the area safer…One of the best defences against a break-in is a neighbor who knows your schedule and notices something out of the ordinary. (I DO know their names…there’s ‘Blue Hair Lady’, ‘Fat dog guy’, ‘Harley Man’, ‘Sits on the Couch Naked Lady’…)
☞ Give them the benefit of the doubt:  If they look weird to you, don’t assume they are hoodlums…or worse. See them as people first and treat them with respect and kindness. (After all, they’ve probably seen you looking pretty odd sometimes too!)
☞ RSVP promptly to invitations:  If they are kind enough to invite you to a picnic, birthday party, game night, graduation party, or another event then you should be kind enough to give a prompt answer. (That’s one of 13 possible reasons I can think of why I don’t get invited to those things anymore!)
☞ Don’t fight with them on social media:  Keyboard warriors can make themselves very unpopular when a discussion about local matters turns nasty. If you have a particular problem with someone, discuss it offline…in a civil way. (With no garden implements nearby…)
☞ Pick up after your dog:  It should go without saying…but it sometimes still needs to be said. Not cleaning up after your dog is a sure-fire way to draw the ire of the neighborhood. (Especially now that everybody has a security camera…!)
-ReadersDigest

DID YOU KNOW?
How long should a couple date before getting married? A 2015 study found that dating one to two years before proposing cut a couple’s risk of divorce by 20 percent, compared to dating for less than a year. Dating three years or more slashed their divorce risk by half. It also found that couples who spend less than $2,000 on an engagement ring have a better chance of staying married.
-Curiosity

BS CHRONOMETER 09.18.19

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1939 [80] Fred Willard, Shaker Heights OH, TV actor (“Modern Family” since 2009, “Everybody Loves Raymond” 2003-2005)/movie actor (“Best in Show”)

1950 [69] Darryl Sittler, Kitchener, ON, retired NHL player (Toronto Maple Leafs captain who holds the record for points in a game with 10)

1970 [49] Aisha Tyler, San Francisco CA, TV personality (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?” since 2013, “The Talk” 2011-17)/TV actress (“Bojack Horseman” 2014-15, “Archer” since 2009)

1971 [48] Jada Pinkett Smith, Baltimore MD, movie actress (“Madagascar” movies, “The Matrix” films)/ TV Host (“Red Table Talk” since 2018)/Mrs. Will Smith since 1997

1971 [48] Lance Armstrong, Plano TX, former pro racing cyclist (stripped of 7 consecutive Tour De France titles due to doping)

1973 [46] James Marsden, Stillwater OK, movie actor (“The Butler”, “X-Men” films) COMING UP…”Sonic the Hedgehog”, 2020

1975 [44] Jason Sudeikis, Fairfax VA, comedian/comedy writer (“Portlandia” 2011-14, “Saturday Night Live” 2005-12)/movie actor (“We’re the Millers”, “Horrible Bosses”)

1993 [26] Patrick Schwarzenegger, Los Angeles CA, movie actor (“Midnight Sun”)/model/Son of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Cheeseburger Day”, celebrating the best way to get 2 kinds of cattle fat into your system simultaneously. According to the book “Hamburger Heaven: The Illustrated History of the Hamburger”, the first person to ever slap cheese on a burg’ was grill chef Lionel Sternberger at the Rite Spot restaurant in Pasadena CA in 1926.

• “Hug a Greeting Card Writer Day”, saluting the anonymous and often under-appreciated wordsmiths who say the things we have trouble expressing. (Thanks for saving our bacon on numerous occasions!)
NET: http://www.greetingcardwriting.com/GC&V1.htm

• “Chiropractic Founder’s Day”, the first chiropractic adjustment was given by Dr. DD Palmer to a janitor named Harvey Lillard. Harvey had lost most of his hearing 17 years earlier after hearing a popping sound in his neck. Dr. Palmer determined that a bone was out of place in the janitor’s neck.  After some discussion, “Dr. DD”, decided to move the bone back into place to see if that would help. This primitive first chiropractic adjustment resulted in Harvey getting his hearing back, and the chiropractic profession was born.

• “Rice Krispies Treats Day”, a combination of butter or margarine and melted marshmallows or marshmallow creme. Two Kellogg’s employees, Malitta Jensen and Mildred Day, are credited with the invention in 1939 as a promotional vehicle for the cereal. (Is it a coincidence that ‘snap, crackle and pop’ and ‘Chiropractic Founders Day’ are celebrated together??)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Talk Like a Pirate Day
[Thurs] Butterscotch Pudding Day
[Fri] Fried Rice Day
[Fri] Gibberish Day

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1965 [54] ‘I Dream of Jeannie’, starring Barbara Eden as a 2,000-year-old genie, and Larry Hagman as an astronaut who becomes her master, premieres on NBC

1985 [34] First-ever ‘Top 10 List’ on “Late Night With David Letterman” is titled ‘Top 10 Things That Almost Rhyme With Peas’ (#1 is ‘Meats’. Um, maybe it’s in the delivery?)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1970 [49] legendary guitarist Jimi Hendrix dies from asphyxiation at 27

2004 [15] Britney Spears weds Kevin Federline in a low-key ceremony at a private home in Studio City CA, her 2nd wedding in 9 months (they divorce in 2007)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1999 [20] the first husband & wife gender-swap happens, with each undergoing a sex-change operation in Hungary (“I couldn’t stand my husband … so now she’s my wife”)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2009 [10] The 72-year run of radio-turned-TV soap opera “The Guiding Light” ends as its final episode airs

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The word “broadcast” originally referred to farmers casting (scattering) seeds over a broad area.
✓ Honeybees keep their hives at 95 degrees Fahrenheit (35C)
✓ Modern squirrels are almost identical to their ancestors from 35 million years ago.
✓ Women are more likely than men to read their junk mail.
✓ Peaches, avocados, cashews and bananas are all pollinated by bats.
✓ There was a real WWII hero named G.I. Joe. He was a carrier pigeon.

BS ANTISOCIAL SONGS:
• Let Me Be
• Don’t Call Me Maybe
• I’m Think I’m Alone Now
• I’ve Got Friends in No Places
• Born to Run Away From Everyone
• Let it GO AWAY!
• Without You or Without You
• I Left Her Standing There
• Couldn’t Care Less Whisper
• Girls Just Wanna Be Left Alone
• Highway to Hell No
-Twitter

Best of BS . . .
BS AFTER A MONTH OF COLLEGE:
• I realized that it is easier to buy clothes at a thrift store than do laundry.
• I had mastered 37 recipes using ramen noodles.
• I thought, “What Frosh Hell is this?”
• I realized that the more you know, the more you realize you don’t know.
• I found I was majoring in pizza and beer pong.
• I was a month behind in my studies.
• I realized I couldn’t spell collage.
• I knew that I would never drink peppermint schnapps again.
• I had completed one month of college.
-Twitter, first published in ‘BS’ in 2018

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Yesterday I wanted tacos. Now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
1. What “fashion capital” city is home to Dolce & Gabbana, Prada, and Versace?
a. London
b. Paris
c. Milan [CORRECT]
d. Pittsburgh

2. Referring to factory made clothing, what is the meaning of the French fashion term “Pret Apporter”?
a. Pre-shrunk
b. Ready to wear [CORRECT]
c. Distressed
d. Pre-soiled
-Trivia.fyi

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could have the hair of any Hollywood celeb, whose would you want?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  39% of people say seeing this specific thing in a date’s car would be a turn-off. What is it?
Answer:  Discarded fast food containers

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.