Thursday, September 7, 2023 – Edition: #7549
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner have released a joint statement to publicly address their divorce for the first time. In an Instagram post, the estranged couple wrote: “After 4 wonderful years of marriage we have mutually decided to amicably end our marriage. There are many speculative narratives as to why but, truly this is a united decision and we sincerely hope that everyone can respect our wishes for privacy for us and our children.” That came a day after Jonas filed for divorce from Turner in Miami, stating in court documents that their union was “irretrievably broken.” He also also claimed in the filing that their 2 daughters have been living primarily with him, but he is seeking “shared parental responsibility”.
-PageSix
★ The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are apparently looking to settle in Malibu. Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have been house hunting in the California city, according sources, in order to still be close to Hollywood, with more privacy and security than their current Montecito home. The couple reportedly spent part of their long weekend touring an $8million plot of land where a new mansion is being built. It’s reported that the 6-acre plot already has a guard house in front, a long driveway and a pool. It is expected that Harry and Meghan would assume $10 million in construction costs for the mansion itself. That would make it worth only a few million more than their current home, which they bought for around $14 million in 2020.
-ETCanada
★ Barbie and her pink convertible are cruising into homes next week — via digital release. That’s right, on Sept. 12, the box office hit, which smashed records with more than $1.38 billion worldwide, will be available to purchase for $29.99 and/or rent for $24.99 on digital movie platforms, including Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV, Google Play, Vudu, and more. Warner Bros. previously announced the summer blockbuster’s one-week IMAX release beginning Sept. 22, during which audiences will be treated to never-before-seen post-credits footage
-EW
★ Can Taylor Swift’s new concert movie continue the momentum of “Barbenheimer” — and “Barbie” in particular — and become a cultural rallying cry at the fall box office? Cinema owners are counting on just that after last week’s surprise announcement that “Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour” will hit theaters across North America for several weekends, beginning Oct. 13. Sources say the film could open to a record $100 million, based on brisk advance ticket sales. They also say the movie could ultimately gross $150 million or more domestically. 2011’s “Justin Bieber: Never Say Never” is currently the top-grossing concert film at the domestic box office with $73 million.
-HollywoodReporter
★ Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Oprah Winfrey stirred up controversy by asking fans to donate to a relief fund in the wake of wildfires that swept through Maui. On Instagram the 2 announced a joint donation of $10 million, and asked others to pitch. That prompted a backlash from some, who asked why they didn’t contribute more of their own money. Using Forbes estimates, Winfrey has more than $2 billion to her name, while Johnson has more than $250 million. That means their donations to Maui represents less than 0.5% of their total wealth. Some commented in disbelief that some of the richest people in America were asking for regular people living through a cost-of-living crisis to contribute.
-Insider
★ Ren and Stimpy are still coming back. The dark-humored animated sitcom “The Ren & Stimpy Show” aired on Nickelodeon from 1991-95. In 2020, Comedy Central announced a revival, to be produced without creator John Kricfalusi. Although there haven’t been many updates since then, Billy West, who took over the voice of Ren beginning in Season 3 and also voices Stimpy, responded to a fan who asked if Ren & Stimpy were still coming back. He said: “Yes they are! Sit tight and wait for announcements.”
-PopCulture
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Harrison Ford, “Science Bob” Pflugfelder, Wiz Khalifa, Ty Dolla $ign, Lil Yachty and Sueco the Child (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Taylor Swift, Meghan Trainor (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Bono, Rose McIver (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jesse Eisenberg, Meghann Fahy (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Rob Gronkowski (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): TBA
• “The Talk” (CBS): Bridget Everett (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Mark” (ABC/CTV): Josh Gad, Phillip Phillips
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Awkwafina, Charles Esten (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): TBA
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Julie Bowen, Method Man and Larenz Tate
• “NFL Football” (Check local listings): The 2023 season opener: Detroit Lions @ Kansas City Chiefs
• “Big Brother” (CBS): Following a live vote, a houseguest is evicted and interviewed; houseguests compete for power in the next head of household.
• “The Challenge: USA” (CBS): TJ announces that teams are no more, strategy shifts for several players, and a shocking draw from the hopper forces 2 allies to go head-to-head.
• “The First 48 Presents Critical Minutes” (AE): Cases where homicides were committed in the name of love; A couple is shot to death on their doorstep; A hearing-impaired man is stabbed in his doorway.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Drake – posted video, explaining how he wound up giving a fan $50K. It seems that during his Vegas show, Drake, noticed the fan’s sign, saying: “Drake, I spent my furniture money on your two shows, OVO for life.” Drake quote: “You know what, my man, your furniture money, Imma give you 50 bands ‘cause I love you.” LINK: http://tinyurl.com/3brfpwnc
• Rihanna – A report says she reached out to the Always For The People Foundation, “and made a huge order,” to donate to disabled and homeless vets in Los Angeles. The organization says that as a result, it “distributed hundreds of hygiene kits, socks, clothes, sleeping bags, food, 50-plus pairs of shoes, toilet paper, dog food, you name it.”
• Sean “Diddy” Combs — is the recipient of the 2023 MTV Video Music Awards’ Global Icon Award. He’ll will also return to the MTV stage for a live performance the night of Sept. 12, his first since 2005. He has 4 nominations for this year’s awards.
• Billy Idol – joined Foo Fighters on stage Sunday at the Jazz Aspen Snowmass festival in Colorado for a rendition of the Sex Pistols ‘Pretty Vacant’. Idol has a side-band called Generation Sex, alongside former Pistols members Steve Jones and Paul Cook.
• Kiss — Australian Football League has announced the band will headline the 2023 Toyota AFL Grand Final pregame show. That happens Sept. 30 at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. Kiss has one Australian show scheduled during its current “End of the Road” farewell tour, In Sydney on Oct. 7.
• Nirvana – Oct. 27, they’ll will drop a 30th anniversary reissue of “In Utero”. Configurations include a limited-edition 8LP Super Deluxe box set, 5CD Super Deluxe box set, 1 LP + 10” edition, 2CD Deluxe edition, and a Digital Super Deluxe edition. The 3 Super Deluxe editions will include 53 previously unreleased tunes, including 2 live shows.
• Zach Bryan — In the wake of dropping his new album, he has shared an unreleased song, with video of him performing alongside his pool. No word on the title, but he sings about his evolving relationship with God. He captioned the vid: “only thing to do on the ol’ farm at 6am”. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/8uu9mxuw
• Kylie Morgan – will drop her debut album, “Making It Up As I Go”, on Oct. 13. It will feature her breakout hot ‘If He Wanted To He Would’, along with recent singles ‘A Few Hearts Ago’ and ‘Sugar Daddy’. The title track and video were released last week.
• Blake Shelton – has been busy planting seeds on his Oklahoma farm, and he once again took to social media to post video of the hilarious ride. In the clip, he is seen on a tractor, as he jokingly sings a lame parody of the 4 Non Blondes’ hit ‘What’s Up’. LINK: http://tinyurl.com/46tz9dhy
SHOOTING THE BULL
TEMPERATURE TANTRUM:
It’s the unexpected effect of global warming – hot tempers. Research shows that there’s a direct correlation between high temperatures and short fuses, and that anger can sometimes lead to bad behavior. One experiment found that people who were playing video games in a hot room, in certain circumstances, were consistently crueler to their gaming partners than those who were in a room with a more moderate temperature. Another study found that when temperatures were high, Major League Baseball pitchers were much more likely to intentionally hit a batter if someone from the pitcher’s team had been hit by a pitch earlier in the game. And a study of NFL players found that the hotter it got, the more players committed penalty infractions. What we can do about it, according to one expert: “Maybe put less on the schedule when the temperatures are high, or hang out with people who irritate you less. Maybe even reschedule important meetings for cooler days.”
(Also – judging by the studies, don’t play any games!)
(There’s only one thing that makes me madder than being too hot. And that’s being too hot – AND hungry!)
-CNN
JETTISONING JET LAG:
Researchers say they have come up with a sure-fire cure for jet-lag – and you’re going to love it. Simply eat a big breakfast once you reach your destination, say scientists at Northwestern University and the Santa Fe Institute. They built a mathematical framework to determine how travelers can best reset themselves in a new time zone. What they determined is that constantly shifting meal schedules, or having a meal at night can lead to misalignment between internal clocks. Jet lag, which can lead people to struggle with their sleep, experience fatigue, impact people’s mood and even cause stomach issues, is felt when a person’s circadian system is offset by changing time zones. They say that beginning the day with a hearty breakfast can help travelers reset their circadian rhythm.
(I’m not sure if they actually conducted a scientific study – or simply noticed that after flying all night, then eating the “big-boys breakfast”, they really, really needed a nap!)
(I’m not sure I believe it, but I’m definitely willing to try!)
-NYPost
THOSE AWKWARD TEENAGE YEARS:
I saw a stat just recently that said 2/3 of people feel self-conscious when we work out in front of others. Well, apparently, that’s not the only time that we, as adults, feel awkward. In fact, according to a new survey, 68% of us sometimes feel just as awkward as we did in our teens. The poll of 2,000 adults in the US ages 25-54, found that as teenagers, people were most self-conscious about their body shape (65%), hairstyle (61%) and smile (61%). And it turns out many of us still feel the same way. Over half say they are STILL uncomfortable about their body shape, closely followed by – you guessed it – their hairstyle and smile. Other interesting findings:
• More men than women are self-conscious about their glasses or contact lenses (51% vs. 39%), height (54% vs. 42%), hairstyle (57% vs. 48%) and smile (55% vs. 49%).
• Fewer women than men usually stand in the front row for a group photo (24% vs. 34%).
• Taking selfies makes 41% of us feel anxious.
• The average age that people said they felt most awkward was 17.
(What’s this stuff about feeling “awkward” as a teen? When I was a teenager, I was WAAAY cooler than I am now!)
(It’s an old saying, but it’s true: “You’d be way less concerned with what other people think of you if you realized how seldom they do”!)
-SWNS
PICK WISELY:
With the NFL season revving up tonight, the “Morning Brew” newsletter team asked readers: “What is your fantasy football league’s creative punishment for finishing in last place?” Here are some of the best (and cruelest) responses:
☞ “Loser has to go skydiving at the lowest-rated skydiving establishment in Texas.”
☞ “The Cancún challenge. Last place has to stay at the local Mexican restaurant from open to close (10am-10pm). Every jumbo margarita they drink counts as an hour off their time.” (But what’s the “punishment” part?)
☞ “The last-place finisher is awarded a front license plate that in no uncertain terms makes it clear they came in last place. The license plate is affixed to the individual’s car at this year’s draft. They must keep it on their car until the following year’s draft!”
☞ “Last year, I had to dig a hole 5 feet by 5 feet. Just like in the movie Holes.”
☞ “My friend and I met these guys in Central Park who made the loser dress up as Popeye and give boat rides to strangers around the Boathouse for 2 hours with balloons that said ‘LOSER’ tied to the backs.”
☞ “Last year, in a couples league, the winner got to name the loser’s first-born child.”
(In my league, the loser has to host the Super Bowl party. With MY group of friends, that constitutes ‘cruel and unusual punishment’…!)
-Insider
DID YOU KNOW?
It was purely luck of the draw. The tiny island nation of Anguilla, just half the size of Washington DC, inadvertently struck gold when it was designated the country-specific website domain name “.ai” in the 1990s. It didn’t mean much then, but with ChatGPT leading the development of AI now, the domain “.ai” has become popular among tech startups looking to give their companies some extra oomph. The Caribbean country welcomes domain registrars to pay it $140 per 2-year .ai domain registration. And registrations have doubled in the past year to 300,000, since ChatGPT was released to the public. Domain revenue is expected to reach $25-30 million this year. That’ll be over 25% of Anguilla’s total annual revenue.
-Insider
BS CHRONOMETER 09.07.23
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Toronto International Film Festival”. TIFF starts today and runs until September 17th. It’s one of the largest film festivals in the world, attracting over 480,000 people annually. This year’s highlights include “Dumb Money”, about the Wall Street chaos created over GameStop stock, starring Paul Dano, Pete Davidson and Shailene Woodley, and “Next Goal Wins”, starring Michael Fassbender, a comedy about the Samoa soccer team’s attempt to make a World Cup, 12 years after its infamous 31-0 loss, plus documentaries on Nickelback…and Mr. Dressup. LINK: https://www.tiff.net (***See ‘Movie-Festival-Speak’, below***)
• “Salami Day”, started in 2006 by the Salami Appreciation Society, to honor the cured Italian sausage that is fermented and air-dried. LINK: http://www.salamiday.com
• Beer Lover’s Day”, dedicated to beer, and to everyone who loves to drink it! Beer making can be traced to about 6,000 years ago in ancient Sumeria. The Babylonians, Egyptians and Greeks and Romans all made beer. And during the Middle Ages, due to contamination, beer was a much safer drink than water. (And exactly how should we celebrate this fine occasion?)
• “Google Commemoration Day”, honoring the 1998 founding of Google Inc by Sergey Brin & Lawrence Page in a friend’s garage in Menlo Park CA. The original name for the search engine was “BackRub,” because it looked at “back links” to determine how important a site was. (And exactly when did ‘google’ become a verb, then?)
• “Feel the Love Day”, Do something extra special for a partner, relative, or friend today, or simply tell them, “I love you.” (Including Valentine’s Day, that’ll be twice in one year!)
• “Neither Rain nor Snow Day”, commemorating the motto of the US Postal Service – “Neither rain nor snow nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds”. (Just dogs…)
• “Grandma Moses Day”, celebrating the American artist who spent decades living the rural, agricultural life that she would later feature in her paintings. She only began devoting herself to art when she was in her 70s. Completely self-taught, Moses soon became famous for her images of country life.
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Stand Up to Cancer Day
[Fri] Actors Day
[Sat] Wonderful Weirdos Day
[Sun] Grandparents Day
This Month is…Fall Hat Month
This Month Is…Classical Music Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [80] Gloria Gaynor, Newark NJ, disco singer (‘I Will Survive’, ‘Never Can Say Goodbye’)
1951 [72] Chrissie Hynde, Akron OH, rock singer-guitarist (The Pretenders-‘Brass In Pocket [I’m Special]’, ‘I’ll Stand By You’)
1950 [73] Julie Kavner, LA CA, TV voice actress (‘Marge Simpson’ on “The Simpsons” since 1989)
1956 [67] Diane Warren, Van Nuys CA, pop songwriter (Cher-‘If I Could Turn Back Time’, Aerosmith-‘I Don’t Want to Miss A Thing’, Celine Dion-‘Because You Loved Me’)
1967 [56] Leslie Jones, Memphis TN, TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 2014-19)/movie actress (“Ghostbusters”, “Trainwreck”)
1969 [54] Angie Everhart, Akron OH, movie actress (“Jade”, “Last Action Hero”)/model (Elle, Glamour, Sports Illustrated, Playboy)
1970 [53] Tom Everett Scott, East Bridgewater MA, movie actor (“That Thing You Do!”, “La La Land”)/TV actor (“The Summer I Turned Pretty” since 2022)
1976 [47] Oliver Hudson, LA CA, TV actor (‘Wes’ on “Scream Queens” 2015-2016, “Nashville” 2013-15)/son of Goldie Hawn, brother of Kate Hudson
1978 [45] Devon Sawa, Vancouver BC, movie actor (“Final Destination”, “Casper”)
1987 [36] Evan Rachel Wood, Raleigh NC, TV actress (“West World” 2016-22)/movie actress (“Ides of March”, “The Wrestler”) COMING UP… “Backspot”
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1979 [44] The “Entertainment and Sports Programming Network” (ESPN) makes its debut
2020 [03] Lily Allen marries David Harbour (‘Hopper’ on “Stranger Things”) at the Graceland Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas, with an Elvis impersonator presiding
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1996 [27] Tupac Shakur is shot 5 times in Las Vegas while riding in a BMW with Death Row Records founder Marion ‘Suge’ Knight (he dies 6 days later at age 25)
2008 [15] While performing ‘Morning Glory’ at the V Festival in Toronto, Noel Gallagher of Oasis suffers a fractured rib when attacked by a concert-goer who rushes the stage and pushes him into his monitor
2010 [13] Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ is named “Greatest Lighter-in-the-Air Song of All-Time” by lighter company Zippo
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2007 [16] A new study reveals that rock stars are twice as likely to die early as the rest of us
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2014 [09] Serena Williams beats Caroline Wozniacki at the US Open, joining Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert with 18 Grand Slam singles victories (Serena now has 23)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ From a DNA perspective, all humans are more than 99% identical. Visual differences or internal variations are only due to a tiny variation in genetics.
✓ Not everyone can focus and defocus their eyes at will.
✓ Fingernails grow faster in warm weather than they do in cold weather.
✓ About 1 in 1500 people can give themselves goosebumps at will.
✓ Your brain re-writes a memory each time you think of it, slowly altering it or twisting it over time.
✓ Over the course of a lifetime, most people spend a total of one year sitting on the toilet.
-Buzzfeed, Newsweek
Best of BS . . .
BS FAKE NFL FACTS:
• The ball was originally shaped like an actual foot.
• Boomer Esiason was the first person to ever be told: “OK, Boomer.”
• Any new team coming to San Diego must be named the Rechargers.
• The field is actually wider than it is long. The game is just played sideways.
• The Cleveland Browns were formed when the Cleveland Blues merged with the Cleveland Reds and the Cleveland Yellows.
• In Europe, they call it “soccer”.
• My wife’s idea of Fantasy Football is me not watching football.
• The Patriots never cheated.
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2020
BS MOVIE-FESTIVAL-SPEAK:
The Toronto International Film Festival kicks off today, so here is what festival programmers REALLY mean when describing a film . . .
• “Extraordinary” – Weird as heck
• “Layered” — Confusing
• “Dazzlingly sensual” – It’s about as sexy as a Disney film
• “You have to see it to believe it” – Don’t blame us if you hate it
• “Intelligent and heartwarming” – Stupid and sappy
• “A lasting cinematic experience” – It runs 3 hours, but feels like about 30
• “Rich in detail and emotion” – There’s absolutely no story
• “Emotionally authentic” – Factually bogus
• “Wonderfully subversive” – How did this ever get past the censors?
• “Freewheeling camera style” – Better take a barf bag
-TorStar
BS WEB GOODIE:
New way to greet your bro: http://tinyurl.com/2jcdrk2v
BS RANDOM JOKE:
We can only hope that when the insects take over the world, they’ll will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What was your most horrifying ‘back to school week’ experience?
BS WATER COOLER QUESTIONS:
• Question: Question: 61% of men have lied about liking THIS in order to fit in. What is it?
Answer: NFL football
• Question: Two-thirds of us say we get self-conscious when we do THIS in front of others. What is it? Answer: Work out
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
First you learn to read. Then you read to learn.
