Thursday, September 19, 2019 Edition: #6534
Ahhhh, Your Daily Bovine Colonic!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ NBCUniversal announced Tuesday that its forthcoming streaming service will be named “Peacock” and will be available in April 2020. It will feature reboots of the classic TV series “Battlestar Galactica,” “Saved By the Bell” and “Punky Brewster,” along with new comedies from Mike Schur, Rashida Jones and an adaptation of Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World.” Additionally, Peacock will house a vast content library that includes former NBC sitcoms “The Office,” “Parks & Recreation,” “30 Rock,” “Cheers” and “Frasier.”
(Peacock and chill?)
-TheWrap
★ Cokie Roberts, a pioneering female journalist with National Public Radio and ABC News, died on Tuesday at 75 at her home in Washington from complications due to breast cancer. She worked in radio as a foreign correspondent for CBS and a congressional correspondent for NPR in the 1970s. She went onto become a prominent political commentator on ABC News, serving as the network’s chief congressional analyst.
-Canoe
★ After Alec Baldwin sat in the hot seat for a new Comedy Central Roast, Jimmy Kimmel enlisted some comedic friends to poke fun at the theme of the special. Recognizing that the roasts are usually brutal affairs, Kimmel elected to create a revamped show he dubbed “Positivity Roast” to “appeal to those who aren’t comfortable with traditional roast-y humor.” With help from Whitney Cummings, Henry Winkler, Natasha Leggero and Jeffrey Ross, the comedians took turns offering compliments to previous stars roasted on the show. Using clips from past roasts of Kevin Hart, Jonah Hill and Snoop Dogg, the commentary included lines like: My friend Kevin Hart is here…I don’t want to say Kevin is short because I believe that God made us all the perfect size.”
-HollywoodReporter
★ “Dancing with the Stars” recently announced their star line-up, and Christie Brinkley was one of the big names on the roster. But the model was forced to walk away from the show-stopping opportunity due to an injury, and have her daughter Sailor Brinkley-Cook step in for her. While her daughter is taking her place, that news isn’t going over well with a few of the young stars, including singers Ally Brooke and Lauren Alaina. A source says: “Ally and Lauren seem irritated that another young celebrity has come into the mix. They are annoyed there is another young girl to go up against.” The source added the two musicians “counted Christie out because of her age.”
-PopCulture
★ “Grey’s Anatomy” is about to get a little dose of magic. “Charmed” stars Alyssa Milano and Holly Marie Combs are heading to the ABC medical drama as guest stars. The two are set to appear on the Oct. 10 episode. Milano and Combs’ casting announcement was part of the lineup for ABC’s “Cast from the Past” week, which sees both actors and creative teams reunite in new episodes of ABC shows.
-PopCulture
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Hugh Bonneville, Maren Morris
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Sylvester Stallone, Cedric the Entertainer, Mark Normand
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Taraji P. Henson, Aasif Mandvi
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Glenn Howerton, Andrew Yang, Margaret Atwood, Yesod Williams
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Michelle Dockery, Max Greenfield
• “Lights Out with David Spade” (COMEDY): Drew Carey, Fortune Feimster, Nikki Glaser
• “Conan” (TBS): D’Arcy Carden
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Elizabeth McGovern, Allen Leech
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Hugh Bonneville, Laura Carmichael, Jim Carter, Michelle Dockery, Allen Leech
• “The Talk” (CBS): Megan Fox
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Taraji P. Henson, Iain Armitage
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Dax Shepard, Sarah Hyland
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS): Meghan Trainor, Ron Funches
• “The Last Days of Phil Hartman” (ABC): The life and tragic death of the actor who was killed by his wife, Brynn Hartman; an exclusive interview with her brother, Gregory Omdahl, Hartman family home videos and a never-before-seen interview with Phil.
• “Return to Downton Abbey: A Grand Event” (NBC): Celebrities, cast members and other special guests revisit the series with behind-the-scenes looks at their favorite moments, and a unique view of Highclere Castle, the historical estate used as its primary location.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Meghan Trainor is releasing a cover of the “Friends” TV show theme. In honor of the show’s 25th anniversary, the 25-year-old singer will release her version of The Rembrandt’s ‘I’ll Be There For You’ on the exact anniversary of the show’s first airing, which occurs this Sunday at 8:30pm.
• Drake – A mega-fan of his is getting the VIP treatment. Drake shared a video of Nigerian fan David Jagun covering a couple of his songs, and offered to fly him out to one of his shows as soon as possible. Just a month ago, Jagun had shared a post of Drake’s private jet and wrote “I know one day I will fly at your side on the plane.”
• Nicole Scherzinger — has reportedly signed a ‘multi-million-dollar deal’ to reunite with her former Pussycat Dolls bandmates. Apparently, she has turned down many lucrative offers in the past, but with the ten-year anniversary of their “hiatus” passing, she finally felt she was ready.
• Guns N’ Roses — will play an intimate show at the Hollywood Palladium on September 21 as part of the Citi Sound Vault series. Returning to this venue for the first time in nearly a decade, fans will get to experience the band ahead of their fall dates on the “Not In This Lifetime” tour.
• Marilyn Manson — is joining the third season of Starz’s “American Gods”. He will play Johan Wengren, the lead singer of Blood Death, a Viking death metal band that is a source of power for Ian McShane’s Mr. Wednesday.
• Rolling Stones – set a record by becoming the first touring act to gross more than $400 million on two separate treks. Their recently-completed 3-year, 45 show “No Filter” tour saw them earn $415.6 million. Their 2005-07 “A Bigger Bang” tour grossed $558 million.
• The Highwomen – Their self-titled debut album hit #1 on the Billboard Top Country Albums chart…and #10 on the all-genre Top 200. Brandi Carlile posted the news, and fellow bandmember Maren Morris responded: “Reallllllll glad you asked me [to] be in this.”
• Carrie Underwood – is the sole female nominated for 2019 CMT Artist of the Year. Also up for the award are Thomas Rhett, Luke Combs, Dan + Shay and Kane Brown. The 2019 CMT Artists of the Year ceremony will air live on Oct. 16th.
(GET) BACK TO SCHOOL:
Yes, everyone loves summer vacation. The kids are home, lots of family activities, and lazy days in the sun…and that’s great, sure, but it seems many parents wish there weren’t so many of them. A survey found that 67% of parents think their children’s summer vacation is too long. The study of 2,000 American parents with school-aged children found that by the time summer ends, 57% are pining for a weekend alone without the kids. And if you’re still having trouble getting everyone up and out the door on time these days, you’re not alone: The survey also found that almost half of parents (49%) say it takes two to three weeks for the school routine to feel “normal” again.
Other findings of the survey, conducted on behalf of Mixbook:
• 79% say they get more alone time with their partner when the kids return to school.
• 55% of parents love to watch a TV show or movie that they can’t when the children are around.
• 38% list a spa visit on their back-to-school bucket list.
• 41% plan to organize summer vacation photos.
• 39% plan to create a photo book.
(Create a photo book? When was the survey taken? 1988?)
(I usually spend the first 3 weeks filling out permission slips and helping with fundraisers!)
-NYPost
SWIPE SHOW:
Tinder now has its own TV show. The popular dating app has announced that it has just wrapped up production in Mexico on a “choose your own adventure”-style scripted television series. The show will follow a group of characters at the end of the world with the question “Who would you spend your last night alive with?” as its theme. And, of course, the famous Tinder swipe feature will be put to use as well. The show will be uploaded directly to the app and users will have the choice to swipe right or left on plot points to advance the story. The untitled show will be six episodes long, and is due out in October.
(In my mind, if you’re using the app, ideally you are WAY too busy to be watching a TV show!)
(I thought that Tinder was already “Choose your own adventure”!)
(If it were me, it would be more like, “Who will spend their last night with ME”?!!)
-HighSnobiety
INCREDIBLE THINGS THAT YOU NEVER KNEW EXISTED:
➠ Alien abduction insurance policy: OK…you may have heard of this since all the Area 51 business surfaced. Nevertheless, it’s available from an agency in Florida for just $19.99 for $10 million worth of coverage. (The problem is that to collect, you have to make your way back to earth!)
➠ Professional apologizers: Companies like Southwest Airlines hire qualified candidates to deal with irate customers, which means that you can get paid to offer effective apologies. (Isn’t being a professional apologizer what being a married man is all about?)
➠ A machine that “prints” brick roads: The Tiger Stone road-printing machine can save weeks of work. After workers load it with bricks, it arranges them and lays them out in the desired pattern just like a printer rolls out paper.
➠ An island full of adoptable dogs: The island of Providenciales in Turks & Caicos is a tropical paradise, and it is home to dozens of adorable rescue puppies that you can pet, play with, and even adopt. Adoption is free and Charity Potcake Place will help make the travel arrangements to get your new dog home. (Bet you can’t take just one!)
➠ A town that’s been on fire more than 50 years: In Centralia, Pennsylvania, a fire was set in 1962 to burn a landfill. But because the landfill had also been an old strip-mine pit connected to a series of coal-mile tunnels, the fire sparked a raging underground inferno. The town was condemned in 1992. And there’s apparently enough coal in the tunnels to fuel the fire for another 250 years. (Pretty easy to spot on Google Maps “satellite view”!)
➠ Lickable wallpaper: Inspired by “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory”, this delectable decor totally exists—although it’s marketed more for theme parties than for everyday use. (“The snozzberries taste like snozzberries…and so does the wallpaper!”)
-MSN
DID YOU KNOW?
The average woman keeps the same hairstylist for 12 years.
-DidYouKnow
BS CHRONOMETER 09.19.19
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [71] Jeremy Irons, Cowes UK, movie actor (“Reversal of Fortune”, “The Lion King”)/TV actor (“The Borgias”)
1951 [68] Daniel Lanois, Gatineau QC, singer-songwriter-music producer (U2, The Killers, Neil Young)/Canadian Music Hall of Fame (2002)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2005)
1958 [61] Lita Ford, London England, guitarist/singer (Lead guitarist of “The Runaways”, solo artist (w/Ozzy Osbourne: ‘Close My Eyes Forever’)
‘1964 [55] Trisha Yearwood, Monticello GA, country singer (‘XXX’s and OOO’s [An American Girl]’, ‘She’s in Love with the Boy’)/ TV personality (“Trisha’s Southern Kitchen”)/Mrs. Garth Brooks since 2005
1964 [55] Kim Richards, Long Island NY, reality star (“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” 2010-17)
1974 [45] Jimmy Fallon, Brooklyn NY, TV personality (“Tonight Show” host 2014-present, “Late Night” host 2009-14, “Saturday Night Live” 1998-2006)/movie actor (“Fever Pitch”)
1976 [43] Alison Sweeney, Los Angeles CA, soap opera actress (“Days of Our Lives” 1993-2015), TV host (“The Biggest Loser” 2006-2015)
1980 [39] Tegan & Sara Quin, Calgary AB, twin sister indie-rock singer-songwriters (Tegan & Sara-‘Closer’, ‘I Was a Fool’)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Talk Like a Pirate Day”. So here goes … Har’ Billy, hoist that bilge! Avast ya scurvy scum, stow away your jib! Ahoy matey, grab thee a wench! Swab the deck, ya lily-livered landlubbers!
NET: http://www.talklikeapirate.com
Change the language settings on your station Facebook page to ‘pirate’: https://searchenginewatch.com/sew/how-to/2109984/avast-ye-talk-scurvy-pirate-wit-facebook-twitter-google
• “Butterscotch Pudding Day”, because apparently every single thing in existence deserves its own holiday.
•“Woman Road Warrior Day”, a day to honor women who travel for business. While men were the main business travelers in the past, women now account for half of all work-related travel. (As opposed to my mother, who is a ‘Road Worrier’.)
• “Pawpaw Day”, take a bite out of a creamy mango-banana flavored pawpaw to celebrate! Despite their tropical taste and appearance, many pawpaws grow natively in the United States. With over 60 varieties of pawpaw to choose from, the fruit’s character changes slightly in each one.
COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Fried Rice Day
[Fri] Gibberish Day
[Sat] Batman Day
[Sat] International Day of Peace
TODAY IN SHOWBIZ . . .
1994 [25] “ER” premieres on NBC, created by Michael Crichton, starring George Clooney, Anthony Edwards and Noah Wyle
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1988 [31] Bon Jovi release their 4th album “New Jersey” – containing the most top ten hits of any rock/glam metal album (5)
1999 [20] The Dixie Chicks become the first country group to top the Billboard albums chart when “Fly” debuts at #1
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1982 [37] Carnegie Mellon University professor Scott Fahlman produces the first ‘smiley face’ to punctuate humorous computer messages by employing a colon followed by a hyphen and a parenthesis [:-)] (the first emoji?)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2011 [08] Relief pitcher Mariano Rivera of the New York Yankees surpasses Trevor Hoffman to become Major League Baseball’s all-time saves leader with 602 (retired in 2013 with 652)
BULL’S BITS
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ The first item sold on eBay was a broken laser pointer.
✓ Bubble wrap was originally invented as wallpaper.
✓ One of the largest pyramids in the world is a Bass Pro Shop in Memphis, Tennessee.
✓ There was a prehistoric dragonfly whose wings spanned more than two feet.
✓ Lobsters have clear blood.
✓ Japan is currently suffering from a shortage of Ninjas.
-BestLife
BS UNSOLVED CARTOON MYSTERIES:
• What is Popeye’s last name?
• Why is it that Goofy can talk, but Pluto can’t?
• Why doesn’t Wil E. Coyote sue the ACME company?
• How does SpongeBob light a fire underwater?
• Left or right at Albuquerque?
• Why does Batman have a cape, but he can’t fly?
• Why do Tom and Jerry never wear any clothes, EXCEPT when they go to the beach?
• Will we ever find out where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
• Why were those darn kids always meddling?
• What exactly WAS up, Doc?
-Twitter
Best of BS:
BS SIGNS YOU’VE GONE TO A BAD CHIROPRACTOR:
• The office furniture is made of old vertebrae.
• There’s a 2-drink minimum.
• He rushes in late to your appointment still wearing his McDonald’s uniform.
• Asks you, “What’s a joint like this doing in a girl like you?”
• Over and over, you hear crunching sounds followed by, “Uh-oh!”
• Tries to perform an adjustment on your wallet.
• At the end of a session he lies down on the table and says, “OK, my turn!”
• Now when you walk, you make a wacky accordion sound.
-First published in ‘BS’ in 2012
BS PHONE STARTER:
What did you see your neighbor do that blew your mind?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 10% of women won’t share THIS with their man. What is it?
Answer: Deodorant
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Have more than you show, and speak less than you know.
