The Bull Sheet

September 30, 2015

Wednesday, September 30, 2015        Edition: #5339

Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Late actor Paul Walker’s teen daughter Meadow has hit Porsche with a wrongful death lawsuit following his fatal crash in one of their cars in November 2013. The “Fast & Furious” star was the passenger in a 2005 Porsche Carrera GT driven by his friend Roger Rodas when it slammed into a light pole and burst into flames, killing both of them. And now, nearly 2 years afterward, 16-year-old Meadow – and her team of lawyers – are taking legal action against the automaker, claiming faulty mechanics are to blame for Walker’s death.
– TMZ.com
★ 47-year-old Brit actor Daniel Craig says he plans to continue playing movie super-spy ‘James Bond’ until the demands of the hard-hitting movies become too much for him. He first stepped into the role in 2006’s “Casino Royale”; his 4th outing as ‘007’ in Sam Mendes’ “Spectre” opens in UK cinemas next month. Despite being contractually tied in for 1 more ‘Bond’ movie after “Spectre”, critics have been speculating for months that he’ll be quitting the franchise after the new movie opens. But Craig now insists he’ll keep going as long as he’s physically able.
– “Event Magazine”
★ And disgraced 78-year-old comedian Bill Cosby has been stripped of a 3rd honorary degree within the space of a week. Both NYC’s Fordham University and Marquette University in Milwaukee WI rescinded his honors last week in response to his ongoing sexual assault scandal. And now Brown University in Providence RI has followed suit by stripping Cosby of the honorary degree that was awarded to him in 1985.
– WENN.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – El Vy (The National).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Jake Owen (“Days of Gold”).
• “iHeartradio Music Festival: Night 2” (CW) – Tonight’s performers include Blake Shelton, Fall Out Boy, and The Weeknd. Recorded in Las Vegas NV earlier this month.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Kelsea Ballerini (“The First Time”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Wavves (“Afraid of Heights”).
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – A$AP Rocky (“At.Long.Last.A$Ap”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Highly Suspect (“Mister Asylum”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Ed Sheeran (“x”); R&B great Bill Withers.
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Ariana Grande (“My Everything”).
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – John Scofield (“Past Present”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Nicole Scherzinger (“Big Fat Lie”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Carrie Underwood – She says Huck Paisley (8) and his brother Jasper (6) are exactly the kind of boys she’d like her 7-month-old son Isaiah to become, mostly because their father – Brad Paisley – is doing such a great job with them.
• fun. – Jack Antonoff has recruited female singers Carly Rae Jepsen, Charli XCX, Sara Bareilles, Sia and others to cover songs from his side project Bleachers’ debut album “Strange Desire”. The new recording is being titled “Terrible Thrills, Vol 2”.
• Kenny Rogers – After 5 decades on the road he says he’s retiring from touring, but will do one last worldwide farewell tour next year. Rogers is 77.
• KISS – They’ve recently earned the distinction of having more Gold album awards than any American band in the history of the RIAA’s Gold & Platinum certifications. In the last 41 years, they’ve accrued 30 Gold album awards.
• Luke Bryan – He kicks off his 8-stop “Farm Tour 2015” tonight in Ft Wayne IN. Chris Janson, Sam Hunt, and the Peach Pickers join him on select dates during this 7th annual trek. A portion of tour proceeds funds college scholarships for students from farm families.
• Rolling Stones – Keith Richards has revealed the band will get back in the studio in 2016 to work on a new album. The Stones will tour South America in February and March, after which he says they have “definite plans” to record their first album since 2005’s “A Bigger Bang”.
• U2 – Bono tells “Irish Times” their new album “Songs of Experience”, companion piece to 2014’s “Songs of Innocence”, will see release next year. He says a lot of the songs are already finished.
• The Zombies – Tonight in Dallas TX the 4 remaining members reunite to perform their classic 1967 album “Odessey & Oracle” in its entirety. Colin Blunstone, Rod Argent, Chris White, and Hugh Grundy are hitting the road for the first time in almost 50 years throughout October.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“The Walk” ( PG Biographical Thriller in IMAX theaters only ) – Joseph Gordon-Levitt stars as real-life high-wire artist Philippe Petit as he prepares his 1974 death-defying stunt of walking a tightrope between NYC’s World Trade Center towers. Co-stars Ben Kingsley, James Badge Dale. Based on the 2008 Oscar-winning documentary “Man on Wire”. Opens wide October 9.
NET: http://thewalkmovie.tumblr.com

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 62% of us have a favorite coffee mug that we use almost every single day.
• 60% of us don’t know the license plate number of our own vehicle.
• 16% of wives have hidden a traffic ticket from their partner.
• 14% of us have borrowed a bathing suit from a friend.
• 9% of us have accidentally squirted ourselves in the eye with jalapeño pepper juice.
• 5% of us admit we use our cellphones while in a movie theater.

BS BUZZWORDS:
Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Boondocking’ – Parking a recreational vehicle in a remote or secluded area to avoid paying campground or RV park charges. (A ‘remote or secluded area’ meaning … a Walmart parking lot.)
• ‘Diss Tweet’ – A disrespectful or insulting Twitter post. (Is there any other kind?)
• ‘Farecasting’ – Predicting when the price of an upcoming flight will be at its lowest. (It’s estimated the average airfare changes 75 times in advance of the actual flight.)

DID YOU KNOW?
The word ‘trump’ in the UK is used as slang for ‘fart’. As a noun: ‘a trump’. As a verb: ‘to trump’. As a description: ‘Donald Trump’.
– PopBitch.com

BS CHRONOMETER 09.30.15


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1963 [52] Eddie Montgomery, Danville KY, country singer (Montgomery Gentry-“Back When I Knew It All”)  BS FACTOID: Montgomery’s 19-year-old son died Sunday after being placed on life support at a Kentucky hospital following an unspecified accident.

1964 [51] Monica Bellucci, Città di Castello, Italy, movie actress (“Spectre” [November 6], ”The Matrix” films)

1964 [51] Robby Takac, Buffalo NY, alt-rock singer-bassist (Goo Goo Dolls-“Slide”, “Iris”)

1964 [51] Trey Anastasio, Fort Worth TX, cult band singer-songwriter-guitarist (Phish-“Time Turns Elastic”)

1975 [40] Marion Cotillard, Caen, France, movie actress (“Macbeth” [December 4], “Inception”)

1984 [31] T-Pain (Faheem Rasheed Najm), Tallahassee FL, hip-hop/R&B singer-songwriter (f/Yung Joc-“Buy U a Drank [Shawty Snappin’]”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Ask a Stupid Question Day”, observed annually on the last school day in September to perpetuate the idea that ‘asking a stupid question is better than repairing a stupid mistake’. It’s an idea that goes back to the 1980s when there was a movement by teachers to get kids to ask more questions in the classroom.

• “Hot Mulled Cider Day”, a day to cradle a warm cup of spiced cider in your hands, breathe in the fragrance, and then take a sip. It’s a cool-weather treat for all your senses.

• “International Blasphemy Day”, which encourages individuals and groups to openly express criticism of religion, and blasphemy laws. It was founded in 2009 by the Center for Inquiry.

• “International Translation Day”, introduced in 1991 by the International Federation of Translators. Online translators allow you to switch from language-to-language instantly. Try translating an English message to another language then back to English. Odds are you’ll get something that’s really wonky.
NET: http://translate.google.com/#

• “Mud Pack Day”, a day to pile on the facial treatment. The green goop is best, right?

• “Women’s Health & Fitness Day”, the largest annual health promotion event for women of all ages. Upwards of 75,000 women are expected to participate in a variety of local activities.
NET: http://www.fitnessday.com/women/

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2010 [05] Movie actor Tony Curtis dies in Las Vegas NV (appeared in over 100 films)

2011 [04] After 28 years together, KISS rocker Gene Simmons & model Shannon Tweed tie the knot before 400 guests at a ceremony in Beverly Hills CA (basically a reality TV stunt)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2012 [03] Pop singer George Michael experiences ‘major anxiety’ and cancels the Australian leg of his tour (said to be a result of life-threatening pneumonia in 2011)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2004 [11] 1st images of a live Giant Squid in its natural habitat are taken 600 miles (965 km) south of Tokyo, Japan

BS MONTHLY PLANNING CALENDAR . . .
[Oct 1] International Day of Older Persons / International Music Day / World Vegetarian Day / Walk Your Dog Day
[Oct 2] “Freeheld”; “The Martian” open in movie theaters / Austin City Limits begins (Austin TX) / International Day of Non-Violence / Custodial Workers Day / World Farm Animals Day / Diversity Day / World Smile Day
[Oct 3] “Saturday Night Live” season debut (NBC) / World Card Making Day / Blessing Of the Pets Day / Cinnamon Roll Day / Taco Day / Vodka Day / World Animal Day / Country Inn Bed & Breakfast Day / International African Diaspora Day
[Oct 5] Child Health Day / International Day of No Prostitution / Techies Day / World Day of Architecture / World Day of Bullying Prevention / Blue Shirt Day / World Habitat Day / World Teachers Day
[Oct 6] Mad Hatter Day / German-American Day
[Oct 7] “American Horror Story: Hotel” debut (FX) / Balloons Around the World Day / Emergency Nurses Day / Kale Day / Pet Obesity Awareness Day / Walk to School Day
[Oct 8] Depression Screening Day / Pierogy Day / World Octopus Day / World Sight Day
[Oct 9] “Just Let Go”; “Pan”; “The Walk” open in movie theaters / Leif Erikson Day / Chess Day / World Egg Day / World Post Day
[Oct 10] Cake Decorating Day / International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction / International Newspaper Carrier Day / International Stage Management Day / Costume Swap Day / Family Bowling Day / Handbag Day / Universal Music Day / World Day Against the Death Penalty / World Homeless Day / World Mental Health Day / World Porridge Day
[Oct 11] “The Walking Dead” season debut (AMC) / Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame Induction / International Day Of the Girl / Coming Out Day / Food Truck Day / Southern Food Heritage Day
[Oct 12] Thanksgiving Day (Canada) / Columbus Day (USA) / Kick Butt Day / Spanish Language Day / World Arthritis Day
[Oct 13] International African Penguin Awareness Day / International Day for Failure / International Moment of Frustration Scream Day / Face Your Fears Day / Silly Sayings Day
[Oct 14] Be Bald & Be Free Day / Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work & School Day / International Top Spinning Day / Muharram (Islamic New Year) / Stop Bullying Day
[Oct 15] Conflict Resolution Day / Get Smart About Credit Day / Global Handwashing Day / International Day of Rural Women / Grouch Day / White Cane Safety Day
[Oct 16] “Bridge of Spies”; “Crimson Peak”; “Goosebumps” open in movie theaters / Alternative Fuel Day / Bosses Day / Feral Cat Day / Department Store Day / Dictionary Day / Mammography Day / World Food Day / World Student Day
[Oct 17] American Roots Music & Arts Festival begins (Raleigh NC) / Bridge Day / International Day For the Eradication of Poverty / Mulligan Day / Pasta Day / Wear Something Gaudy Day
[Oct 18] World Menopause Day / Sunday School Teacher Appreciation Day
[Oct 19] International Adjust Your Chair Day / Evaluate Your Life Day / Clean Your Virtual Desktop Day
[Oct 20] Shampoo Day / Suspenders Day / International Air Traffic Control Day / World Osteoporosis Day
[Oct 21] Take Your Parents to Lunch Day / Celebration Of the Mind Day / Information Overload Day / Medical Assistants Recognition Day / Reptile Awareness Day
[Oct 22] Australian Independent Music Awards (Melbourne) / Caps Locks Day / International Stuttering Awareness Day / Nut Day / Smart is Cool Day
[Oct 23] “Jem & The Holograms”; “The Last Witch Hunter”; “Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension”; “Rock the Kasbah” open in movie theaters / iPod Day / Pharmacy Technician Day / TV Talk Show Host Day
[Oct 24] Food Day / Pit Bull Awareness Day / United Nations Day
[Oct 25] Visit a Cemetery Day / International Artists Day / World Pasta Day / Mother-in-Law Day
[Oct 26] “Spectre” opens in UK movie theaters / Howl At the Moon Night
[Oct 27] Full ‘Hunters’ Moon / Cranky Co-Workers Day
[Oct 28] Plush Animal Lovers Day / Bring Your Jack-O-Lantern to Work Day / Lung Health Day
[Oct 29] Cat Day / World Psoriasis Day
[Oct 30] “Our Brand is Crisis”; “Scouts Guide To the Zombie Apocalypse” open in movie theaters / Voodoo Music & Arts Experience begins (New Orleans LA) / Checklist Day / Create a Great Funeral Day / Mischief Night / Frankenstein Friday / International Bandanna Day / Bread Sticks Day / Candy Corn Day
[Oct 31] Halloween / Caramel Apple Day / Knock-Knock Jokes Day / Magic Day / UNICEF Day

BULL’S BITS


MODERN DEFINITIONS OF ETERNITY:
✓ Remove second space after period from each sentence in thousand-page document, close without saving, repeat.
✓ Fill out online registration, click submit, get message saying required fields must be completed, repeat.
✓ Watch instructional YouTube video on basic home repair, attempt repair, fail, repeat.
✓ Call technical support at major corporation, speak to robot, wait on hold, disconnect, repeat.
✓ Attempt to skip commercial in streaming TV show, re-watch same commercial, repeat.
✓ Post photo on social media, refresh, observe zero likes, take photo down, repeat.
✓ Take online quiz, receive unsatisfactory description of self, repeat.
✓ Play “Candy Crush Saga”.
– Adapted from McSweeneys.net

BS RANDOM JOKE:
May your life be like toilet paper … long and useful.

PHONE STARTER:
☎ What physical feature do you notice first when you look at someone?

EXCLUSIVE PLANNED COMMUNITY OR ADULT FILM PERFORMER?
Beverly Park [Community]
Arcadia Lake [Adult Film Performer]
Talia Wood [Community]
Sienna West [Adult Film Performer]
Savannah Quarters [Community]
Cameron Bay [Adult Film Performer]
Bonita Bay [Community]
Donita Dunes [Adult Film Performer]
Brooke Fields [Adult Film Performer]
Cummings Cove [Community]
Laurel Canyon [Both]
– Thanks to Kate Washington

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: The average man owns 4 of THESE.
Answer: Pairs of pants that are too short for him.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Being powerful is like being a gentleman. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.

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