Friday, September 7, 2018 – Edition: #6288
Our Sheet Don’t Stink!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ “House of Cards” dropped a new teaser trailer on Wednesday, revealing just how they plan to write Kevin Spacey‘s character out of the show — they’re killing him. It’s not too much of a surprise that “House of Cards” is choosing to kill off Frank Underwood — the show is based on a book — and in that book … Underwood dies. Kevin Spacey was fired from the show after allegations of sexual misconduct surfaced against him last year.
-TheBlast
★ Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin have bravely gone where many couples have gone before: they got matching tattoos! Because it’s always a good idea to permanently mark your body with the person you’re dating, right? Just ask Johnny Depp’s “Wino Forever” tattoo! The pair, who have been dating for about a year, appear to have had infinity signs drawn on their respective arms.
(Do you want to make the obvious ’50 shades of tattoo ink’ joke, or shall I?)
-Cosmopolitan
★ New doors are certainly opening for Geoffrey Owens, after the 57-year-old actor was shamed for having a job at Trader Joe’s. Owens — who’s best known for playing Sondra Huxtable’s doctor husband on “The Cosby Show” — talked about all the support he’s received from fans and celebs alike after multiple outlets published photos of him bagging groceries at a Trader Joe’s in New Jersey. Since the headlines, Tyler Perry tweeted that he was offering Owens an acting gig on one of his OWN shows.
-MSN
★ Kim Kardashian West’s doctor ordered her to stop taking selfies…at least for a little while. As you know, Kimmy K is a prolific poster of photos of herself on social media, and she certainly wouldn’t let an injured wrist get in her way of sharing pictures and clips to promote her fragrance line. In scenes set to air on “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” on Sunday, Kim enlisted a crew member from the show to use her phone to find her perfect angle and shoot photos and video for her instead.
(Why does that story feel like a shameless plug for her TV show?)
-ContactMusic
★ It’s official: Netflix has revived yet another cancelled TV show. The streaming giant has renewed Kiefer Sutherland’s “Designated Survivor” for a third season — months after ABC cancelled the political drama. The third season, which is scheduled to debut in 2019, will consist of 10 episodes and will be produced as a Netflix original. Designated Survivor becomes the latest broadcast show to be saved by Netflix. The streaming giant also revived “Lucifer” for a 10-episode fourth season after it was cancelled by FOX.
-HollywoodReporter
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Terry Bradshaw, Shannon Purser, Dreamers
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Nick Jonas, Elizabeth Olsen
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Sharon Osbourne, Jay Rock
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Jessica Biel, Awkwafina, Matt Groening (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): William H. Macy
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Wendy Williams
• “The Talk” (CBS): Barry Manilow, chef Joe Isidori (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Jennifer Garner, David Muir, Collins Key
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Cher
• “Stand Up to Cancer” (CBS, ABC, NBC, FOX): The entertainment community comes together for this televised fundraising special supporting urgently needed research and new treatments for cancer.
SATURDAY-
• “John Ritter: Behind Closed Doors” (REELZ): Reveals the generous spirit behind Ritter’s undeniable talent, his legacy of laughter and his family’s determination to save lives by raising awareness of the condition that caused his death.
• “Wedding of Dreams” (HALLMARK): Debbie lives in a small town where she’s found true love and left the music industry behind to teach kids the value of their own musical talents.
SUNDAY-
• “The 2018 Black Girls Rock! Awards” (BET): Hosted by Queen Latifah, with guests in attendance including Naomi Campbell, Ciara, Ava DuVernay, Misty Copeland, Tarana Burke, and Cynthia Erivo, who pays tribute to Aretha Franklin.
• “The 2019 Miss America Competition” (ABC): Hosted by Carrie Ann Inaba
• “Shameless” (SHOWTIME): Season 9 premiere
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Halsey – has revealed that she will appear as herself in Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper’s upcoming remake of the film “A Star Is Born”. She tweeted: “I guess now is a good time to finally tell you guys that I have a little cameo in A Star Is Born!” She called it “an all-time life highlight for me for sure.”
• Childish Gambino – The rapper and actor also known as Donald Glover has threatened to sue his record label bosses for allegedly taking more than their fair share of his music royalties. He claims Glassnote Entertainment Group executives should not be allowed to grab 50% of his streaming revenue. He believes he is owed $700,000.
• Vanilla Ice — was one of the passengers aboard the Emirates flight from Dubai to New York that left over 100 people sick from a mysterious illness. Ice (Vanilla?) was riding in a different level than the exposed passengers and was unaffected.
• ABBA – A “Mamma Mia!” movie-themed restaurant will open at London’s O2 arena in the spring. It will recreate a taverna on the Greek island of Skopelos (the set location for most of the first movie) and will serve up Mediterranean cuisine — while actors and musicians act out the musical’s plot and sing the soundtrack as you dine.
• Queen — The soundtrack to the upcoming biopic “Bohemian Rhapsody” will contain songs from their legendary Live Aid set in 1985, plus new and live versions of their best-known songs. The four songs from their Live Aid performance — ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, ‘Radio Ga Ga’, ‘Hammer To Fall’ and ‘We Are the Champions’, as well as a Freddie Mercury crowd singalong have never before been released in an audio format.
• Garth Brooks – During the “America’s Got Talent” semi-final episode on Tuesday, Simon Cowell gave a public plea for Brooks to write a song for contestant Michael Ketterer. Cowell feels that Garth would come up with the perfect song for Ketterer to perform in the finals.
• Lady Antebellum – have signed a new record contract with Big Machine Label Group, which is home to Taylor Swift, Florida Georgia Line, Thomas Rhett, Reba McEntire, Sugarland, Midland and more. Charles Kelley says that the change will allow the group “to be a little bit more honest with our music and our lyrics and probably show a different side again, just musically.” He says their next recordings will probably sound a lot different than songs like ‘You Look Good’ and ‘Bartender’.
TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Nun” (R-Rated, Horror): A priest with a haunted past, and a novice on the threshold of her final vows are sent by the Vatican to investigate the death of a young nun in Romania and confront a malevolent force in the form of a demonic nun. (Demián Bichir, Taissa Farmiga)
• “Peppermint” (R-Rated, Action/Adventure): A young mother who finds herself with nothing to lose decides to take from her enemies the very life they stole from her. (Jennifer Garner, John Gallagher Jr.)
• “God Bless the Broken Road” (PG, Drama): While grieving the loss of her husband, a financially struggling widow meets a race car driver. (Lindsay Pulsipher, Jordin Sparks)
• “Brisbee” (Not Rated, Documentary/Western): An old mining town on the Arizona-Mexico border finally reckons with its darkest day: the deportation of 1200 immigrant miners exactly 100 years ago. (Mike Anderson, Charles Bethea)
WORK WEAK:
Everybody loves a three-day weekend. But could you do your current job in four days per week? Or if you worked Monday-Friday like you may currently, could you manage to do your job effectively in less than 7 or 8 hours per day? Almost half of workers say they could — if they weren’t interrupted. A new study from the employment think tank the Workforce Institute and the research firm Future Workplace shows that 45% of workers polled across North America, Europe, Australia, and India say that, if they worked uninterrupted, they could do their jobs in less than five hours a day. Researchers say this study builds on existing evidence that trusting employees to make their own schedule translates to better retention, happier employees, and increased revenue.
(And if they don’t shut up about the five-hours a day thing — more layoffs!)
(Problem is, to work without interruption, you have to work on Sundays!)
(I could easily do my job in 5 hours per day…but Facebook!)
(I could do my job in 4 days, the problem would be the dead air on Mondays!)
-BusinessInsider
GERMY AIRLINES:
When traveling by air, everyone is worried about germs. Germs in the air, germs on the seats, germs in the washroom. But when it comes to the airport, what surface do you suppose is the yuckiest? The plastic trays that you put your carry-ons in at security checkpoints have the highest numbers of viruses of anywhere in an airport, according to new research. Even more than the toilet. Yes, those innocent-looking containers that aren’t unlike a dishpan, where you trustingly set your purse, your phone, probably even your snacks, are covered in pathogens that can cause everything from the common cold and flu to pneumonia, bladder infections, SARS and even brain damage, according to the first study of its kind. Those trays are thought to carry high numbers of viruses because they are rapidly reused, and they are touched by every single passenger that passes through an airport. They are rarely disinfected, and their hard surfaces allow viruses to survive for up to a day. The author of the study says that people can help to minimise contagion by washing their hands hygienically and coughing into a handkerchief, tissue or sleeve.
(And by not coughing into those plastic trays!)
(That settles it. We’re driving!)
(Do you suppose those security guys would let me borrow their rubber gloves?)
-DailyMail
HOW TO “CULTIVATE HAPPINESS”:
(according to ‘The Happiness Professor’ from decades of research):
⇒ Make little changes in your daily routine: such as getting more sleep, exercising, getting out into nature, and meditating (and winning the lottery…)
⇒ Read more books: Research suggests that lifelong learners remain healthy and engaged, and live long lives. Also: read books as an escape from your everyday life.
⇒ Be grateful: You could keep a daily gratitude journal. Or, pay a “gratitude visit” to someone from your past who has had a significant impact on your life, and let them know how you feel. (Positive impact only, please!)
⇒ Smile more: Even if you don’t feel like it. Research shows that the simple act of smiling can trick your brain into a happier state. (And I want to be known as the guy with the fake smile…)
⇒ Build and maintain close relationships: Having a small number of tight, meaningful relationships is one of the strongest predictors of happiness. (You’ll note they didn’t say to have a large number of loose relationships…)
⇒ Avoid comparisons: It’s easier to embrace and learn to love your own imperfections if you don’t conjure up myths about how perfect everyone else’s lives seem. (So what you’re saying is to lose Facebook?)
(Nothing here about the boss going on vacation, huh?)
-BecomingMinimilist
BS CHRONOMETER 09.07.18
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [69] Gloria Gaynor, Newark NJ, pop singer (‘I Will Survive’)
1950 [68] Julie Kavner, LA CA, TV voice actress (‘Marge Simpson’ on “The Simpsons” since 1989)
1967 [51] Leslie Jones, Memphis TN, TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” since 2014)/movie actress (“Ghostbusters”, “Trainwreck”)
1976 [42] Oliver Hudson, LA CA, TV actor (‘Wes’ on “Scream Queens” 2015-2016, “Nashville” 2013-15)/son of actress Goldie Hawn/brother of actress Kate Hudson
1987 [31] Evan Rachel Wood, Raleigh NC, TV actress (“West World” since 2016)/movie actress (“Ides of March”, “The Wrestler”)
SATURDAY-
Movie actor David Arquette (“Scream”) is 47; TV actor Martin Freeman (“Sherlock”) is 47; Pop singer P!nk (‘Get the Party Started’) is 39; Rap artist Wiz Khalifa (‘Black & Yellow’) is 31
SUNDAY-
Movie actor Hugh Grant (“Four Weddings and a Funeral”) is 58; Movie actor Adam Sandler (“Happy Gilmore”) is 52; Pop singer Michael Bublé (‘Haven’t Met You Yet’) is 43
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Salami Day”, started in 2006 by the Salami Appreciation Society to honor the cured Italian sausage that is fermented and air-dried. NET: http://www.salamiday.com
• “Google Commemoration Day”, honoring the 1998 founding of Google Inc by Sergey Brin & Lawrence Page in a friend’s garage in Menlo Park CA. (And exactly when did ‘google’ become a verb, then?)
• “Feel the Love Day”, the perfect day for gift giving. All that needs to happen today is being good to everyone. The world needs to know that today, you are feelin’ it. (I take no responsibility for whatever ‘rebound’ effect occurs tomorrow…)
• “Neither Rain nor Snow Day”, commemorating the motto of the US Postal Service – “Neither rain nor snow nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds”. Just dogs.
SATURDAY-
• “Ampersand Day”, a celebration of the ‘&’ symbol. The term is believed to have evolved circa 1820-30 as a contraction of ‘and per se’.
•“International Literacy Day”, established by the UN in 1965 to promote reading & writing programs. Worldwide, 1-in-5 adults are illiterate, and 75 million children are not in school. Millions of young people leave school without a level of literacy adequate for productive and active participation in today’s information society.
• “World Physical Therapy Day”, initiated in 1951 to recognize the work that physical therapists do for their patients and community (when you need ‘em, you love ‘em!)
• “Pardon Day”, an opportunity to seek forgiveness where needed.
SUNDAY-
• “National Grandparents’ Day”, honoring all family patriarchs and matriarchs … and it wasn’t even Hallmark’s idea!
• “Teddy Bear Day”, honoring the 1st and most popular plush animal toy that was inspired by the helpless cub US president Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot while hunting in 1902. Morris & Rose Mitchom, owners of a Brooklyn NY candy store, took credit for creating the 1st ‘Teddy Bear’, but it may be that renowned German toymaker Steiff was already making bears by then.
• “Wonderful Weirdos Day”, saluting all people who are … well, kinda quirky. Know any? If you’re typically on the prim and proper side, use this day to let loose.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1986 [32] TV’s “Oprah Winfrey Show” debuts (the beginning of a billionaire)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1996 [221] Tupac Shakur is shot 5 times in Las Vegas while riding in a BMW with Death Row Records founder Marion ‘Suge’ Knight (dies of complications from gunshot wounds 6 days later at age 25)
2008 [10] While performing “Morning Glory” at the V Festival in Toronto ON, Noel Gallagher of Oasis suffers a fractured rib when attacked by a concert-goer who rushes the stage and pushes him into his monitor
2010 [08] Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” is named ‘Greatest Lighter-in-the-Air Song of All-Time’ by lighter company Zippo
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
2007 [11] A new study reveals that rock stars are twice as likely to die early as the rest of us
2013 [05] International Olympic Committee announces Tokyo, Japan has won the bid for the 2020 Summer Olympics
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2014 [04] Serena Williams beats Caroline Wozniacki at the US Open, joining Martina Navratilova and Chris Evert with a record 18 Grand Slam singles victories (Serena now has 23 … and counting)
BULL’S BITS
BS WACK FACTS:
✓ In 2008 scientists discovered a new species of bacteria that lives in hairspray.
✓ The largest snowflake ever recorded reportedly measured 15 inches across.
✓ Light doesn’t necessarily travel at the speed of light. It has been recorded moving as slow as 38 mph.
✓ The longest time between two twins being born is 87 days.
✓ A family of people with blue skin lived in Kentucky for many generations. They are thought to have gained their blue skin through combination of inbreeding and a rare genetic condition.
✓ The Romans used to clean and whiten their teeth with urine. Apparently, it works.
-Buzzfeed
BS THINGS NOT TO BINGE-WATCH THIS WEEKEND:
• The Weather Channel
• A 12-part series on the dangers of a sedentary lifestyle.
• Paint drying
• The Food Network. Unless you plan to eat all day.
• Baltimore Orioles games
• Your husband binge-drinking.
• Teletubbies. Although that works quite well for a certain age group…
• Water boiling.
• Your parents’ unlabeled video collection that you found waaaay back in the back of the closet.
• Real Housewives of Anywhere.
-Twitter
BS KINDS OF RICH I’D LIKE TO BE:
$ “We always get the same breed of dog” rich
$ “My wife is a lawyer-who-doesn’t-practice” rich
$ “Our summer home has a name” rich
$ “All of the family cars are interchangeable” rich
$ “My kids have to argue very hard to quit fencing” rich
$ “Significant others of only a few months are invited on vacation” rich
$ “The au pair sticks around after all of the kids have left for college” rich
$ “I self-publish a mediocre novel in my retirement” rich
$ “When other people tell me that I’m filthy rich I can’t even deny it” rich
-McSweeney’s (First published in BS in 2017)
BS PHONE STARTER:
What was your most horrifying ‘back to school week’ experience?
BS RANDOM JOKE:
I own the world’s worst thesaurus. Not only is it awful, it’s awful.
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: A study from the dating app Tinder says over half of women will swipe right if the guy is holding THIS in his profile pic. What?
Answer: A fish!
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything . . . or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking.
