Friday, September 16, 2022 — Edition: #7312

Sheet Happens!

 

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Baby joy for Nick Cannon, once again! The 41-year-old “The Masked Singer” host has announced the arrival of his 9th child — a daughter named Onyx Ice Cole Cannon. Onyx is Cannon’s first child with photographer/model LaNisha Cole. Cannon, who is also host of “Wild N’ Out”, asked his fans to “rejoice” news of his expanding family, writing, “We all learn so much from these Angels we call children.” Now, grab your scorecards: We’re also expecting 2 more announcements from Cannon before the end of the year. Brittany Bell — with whom he already has 2 kids — is expecting their third, because she and Nick did a pregnancy photo shoot together last month. And Abby De La Rosa is due next month with her third child with him — his 11th, but who’s counting?
-TMZ, PageSix
★ The first of the estimated 1 million mourners expected to pay their respects to Queen Elizabeth as she lies in state was a royal superfan who had camped out for more than 48 hours. 56-year-old Vanessa Nathakumaran, an administrative assistant from London, said she had to fight to control her emotions when she saw Her Majesty’s casket. Quote: “I wanted to pay my respects in a dignified way but…there were such mixed emotions. It was a privilege to be here but it was so sad and solemn. She says that seeing the Monarch’s coffin was the most memorable moment of her life, and was “it really came home” to her that “she is really gone”. After curtsying as she went past, she says she felt “shattered.” She was also at Princess Diana’s funeral in 1997.
-Bang
★ John Stamos is telling his story. The “Full House” star announced that he has penned a memoir to be released next fall. “If You Would Have Told Me” will chart the 59-year-old’s tale of “a misunderstood heartthrob who has always remained a dorky kid from Orange County, and of his midlife quest to find sobriety and a family of his own,” according to a release. Spanning his career from “General Hospital” to “ER”, roles on Broadway, touring with the Beach Boys, and of course his iconic role as ‘Uncle Jesse’, the book will also highlight his bond with late costar Bob Saget. Stamos says he never planned to write a book, “but after losing Bob, finally becoming a father, and wanting to honor all the colorful people who have made me who I am today, I figured if not now, when?”
-People
★ Leonardo Di Caprio famously dumps women once they turn 25, but he’s got nothing on Madonna. She may have turned 64 last month, but her face and her boyfriends remain stubbornly young. Since her 2008 divorce from Guy Ritchie (10 years younger) and a brief fling with Alex Rodriguez (17 years younger), the singer/cougar has dated men a minimum of 28 years her junior. Madonna’s latest beau, model Andrew Darnell, is 41 years behind her. At just 23, he falls right between her 25-year-old daughter Lourdes and 21-year-old son Rocco. And that’s no coincidence. A friend was quoted by a tabloid saying: “She likes the idea of a guy being younger than her daughter….Some people may see her as a vampire, feeding off of the young, but, in her mind, she is forever youthful and this helps to prove it.”
-PageSix

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Cameron Diaz, Matt Smith, Lea Michele
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Christine Baranski, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Raghav Mehrotra (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Rose Byrne, Chrissy Teigen, Kat Radley (R)
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Day of Hot Topics
• “The Talk” (CBS): Sarah Michelle Gellar, Melody Thomas Scott, crew members from “The Real Love Boat”
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Ryan Reynolds, LeAnn Rimes
• “Sherri” (Check local listings): Chef Melba Wilson & Trenyce Cobbins
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Markella Kavenagh, Benjamin Walker, Sophia Nomvete, Nazanin Boniadi, Lloyd Owen, Ismael Cruz Cordova
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Idris Elba, Sabrina Elba
• “Jennifer Hudson Show” (Check local listings): Viola Davis
• “CBS Fall Preview” (CBS): A look at new and returning series for the fall season.
• “Dynasty” (CW): Season 5 finale. A new majordomo begins working at the Manor; Blake and Alexis go on a search and rescue mission; Jeff is put in a precarious position.
• “CMT Giants: Vince Gill” (CMT): Superstar friends and collaborators honor him with performances of his biggest songs; Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, Chris Stapleton and more.
SATURDAY-
• “Cold Case Files” (A&E): When a 30-year-old mother fails to report for duty in Virginia, the Army lists her as AWOL; her family suspects foul play and embarks on a 13-year quest for answers before an eyewitness blows the case wide open.
• “Wedding of a Lifetime” (HALL): A recently separated couple rekindle their romance when they’re inadvertently entered into a televised contest for an all-expenses-paid wedding.
SUNDAY:
• “Celebrity Family Feud” (ABC): NFL Players and their moms compete; Joe Tessitore and Rob Riggle go up against Kimberly Williams-Paisley and her family.
• “Interview With the Vampire” (AMC): Season 1 premiere. A behind-the-scenes look at AMC’s adaptation of Anne Rice’s iconic novel; includes interviews with cast and crew.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• (***Caution – language***) Demi Moore – may be done with touring. Tuesday, on her Instagram Story, she declared her current “HOLY FVCK” tour her “last”. She began the now-deleted post by saying: “I’m so f—ing sick I can’t get out of bed. I can’t do this anymore.” Lovato is scheduled to continue performing across North America until the beginning of November.
• Taylor Swift – Three bonus tracks will be available on a special Target edition of her upcoming album “Midnights”. The Lavender Deluxe Edition CD, out Oct. 21, will also come with a collectible lyric book, unseen photos and unique artwork. The hotly-anticipated collection tells the story of 13 sleepless nights.
• David Lee Roth — has released another new “studio live” rendition of a classic Van Halen tune. The new version of ‘Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love’ comes less than 2 weeks after Roth shared a new rendition of ‘Panama’. He cut both during a whirlwind May 3 session, where he laid down 14 songs in 2 hours. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/43tffzx5
• The Doors – ‘Paris Blues’, a song of near-mythical status among fans because it is the last-known unissued studio recording from the band, will be the focus of a special new vinyl release for Record Store Day Black Friday on Nov. 25. Assumed lost for decades, the song has somehow resurfaced all these years later. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/24b5jwp7
• The Beatles — New footage of them shooting their 1967 cult classic “Magical Mystery Tour” movie has been unearthed. The clips, shot by a man who visited the set, show the Fab Four and their wives between takes, with children hanging around, plus snippets from sequences in the film. Memorabilia dealer Tracks Limited plans to auction the footage for an estimated $3,500-$6,000.
• Kacey Musgraves — has released a mini-documentary showing the making of her 2021 album, “Star-Crossed”, the album which she says captures the process of healing from her divorce. It’s available to stream now on Paramount+. LINK: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cia0y8Dpfny/
• Ashley McBryde — What started as a get-together with some of her favorite collaborators with no intention of recording or releasing, will see the light of day Sept. 30. “Ashley McBryde Presents: Lindeville” is the result of a week-long songwriting exercise in a cabin near Nashville with Aaron Raitiere and Nicolette Hayford. The songs offer portraits of small-town America and the characters within.
• Garth Brooks – says he has lost 50 pounds and at 60, he’s now the same weight he was when he was 35. He’s currently in Dublin, Ireland for a 5-show run, which is being filmed for future release, and he says he hopes his recent weight loss will allow him to “run around the stage”.

SHOOTING THE BULL

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Woman King” (PG-13, History-Drama): The remarkable story of the Agojie, the all-female unit of warriors who protected the African Kingdom of Dahomey in the 1800s with skills and a fierceness unlike anything the world has ever seen. Inspired by true events. (Viola Davis, Thuso Mbedu, Lashana Lynch)
• “See How They Run” (PG-13, Mystery-Comedy): In the West End 1950s London, plans for a movie version of a smash-hit play come to an abrupt halt after a pivotal member of the crew is murdered. A puzzling whodunit results within the glamorously sordid theater underground. (Kieran Hodgson, Pearl Chanda, Gregory Cox)

JUST WATCH ME:
Catching up on your binge-watching this weekend? Chances are, you’ve got your work cut out for you. The average person has 13 TV shows and 16 movies on their watchlist to get through — averaging a total of 104 hours. That’s enough material to last you an entire flight around the world twice over. According to a OnePoll survey of 2,000 Americans, 68% of have a TV show and movie watch list so long, it’s “nearly impossible” for them to get through it. And what’s keeping us from getting through it? The biggest obstacles are dealing with the list consistently getting longer (43%), that it’s already too long (29%) or that it’s overwhelming (25%). The most popular shows on people’s current watch list are “Stranger Things” (24%), “Game of Thrones” (21%), “The Walking Dead” (21%), “Breaking Bad” (19%) and “Squid Game” (19%). The average person reported having access to 4 different streaming platforms.
(Uh, THAT could be the problem…)
(Rookies!)
-SWMS

TATTOO 2.0:
Today is “Tattoo Story Day”, and if you don’t have a tattoo, and are afraid to get one because you don’t like needles, I’ve got good news for you. Scientists have developed a way for you to get a permanent tattoo without going under the needle. The new technology is in the form of a skin patch that has microneedles smaller than grains of sand. While it still technically uses needles, these ones are microscopic and are said to be painless and bloodless. The microneedles can be arranged into different designs, words, symbols, etc. — to create the ideal custom tattoo. And as a bonus, they can even be made to respond to environmental factors including light or temperature changes. Using skin patches is a quicker process, too. The patch is pressed onto the body — similar to how one would apply a temporary tattoo — and the microneedles dissolve, leaving the ink to sink into the skin a few minutes later. They can even be self-administered — no tattoo shop required.
(I can’t begin to imagine some of the tattoo screw-ups that we’re about to start seeing!)
(In MY neighborhood, it’s not the needle I’m afraid of – it’s the tattoo guy!)
-SWNS

NEWS OF THE WEIRD:
➢ Although he’s just been named Britain’s ruling monarch, Charles III has been living like a king his whole life. King Charles was reportedly nicknamed the “pampered prince” by his staff at Clarence House, where he lived with his wife Queen Consort Camilla from 2003 until taking the throne. Details of his lavish requests were revealed in the 2015 Amazon Prime documentary “Serving the Royals: Inside the Firm.” Paul Burrell, who served as butler, revealed the precise directions staff are given to care for him. Among them: His pajamas are pressed every morning, his shoelaces are pressed flat with an iron, the bathtub must be filled “only half-full” with tepid water and the plug has to be in a certain position. The king even “has his valets squeeze one inch of toothpaste onto his toothbrush every morning.” King Charles also is said to send a van of his possessions to his friends’ country houses ahead of his arrival to unload his “bed, furniture and even pictures” …and reportedly even brings his own toilet seat and Kleenex Velvet toilet paper wherever he goes. (A ‘throne’ joke at this point would be simply too easy, so I’m not going there – literally!)
➢ A grieving woman is spending $4,000 and traveling over 7,000 miles (11,265km) so her beloved hamster’s ashes can be spread in Hawaii. ‘Spud’ passed away in March at the impressive age of 3 years, 7 months. And owner Lisa Murray-Lang of Birmingham UK wants to give the Syrian hamster a special send-off. Why Hawaii? She says doted on the hamster throughout his life, and often created lifelike locations for him to visit. She recreated cardboard versions of London, Paris and Coronation Street during lockdown and let the hamster play in them. Spud particularly liked to visit the model version of Hawaii while he was alive, so Lisa and her husband are “going to take him down to the beach (and) play Beyoncé’s ‘I Was Here’” while they scatter his ashes, and plan to leave a message in the sand saying ‘Spud visited’”. She feels it’ll be the perfect send-off because “He’ll finally get to come along on a real holiday for once.” They plan to fly via Amsterdam – or “Hamsterdam,” as she calls it. (Just be glad she didn’t have a pet cow!)
-NYPost, Talker

DID YOU KNOW?
The late Queen Elizabeth had an obsession with not only her corgis — but was also a secret gamer. The Monarch shared a love of the Nintendo Wii with her grandson Prince William, according to sources, and was gifted a gold Nintendo game console by the company in 2009. The Queen especially took a shine to the bowling game on the system after seeing William playing it at Sandringham Palace. The source said of the queen: “She played a simple 10-pin bowling game…and was a natural. It was hilarious”, leaving William “in fits of laughter.”
-NYPost

BS CHRONOMETER 09.16.22

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Collect Rocks Day”, a celebration of the hobby of gem & mineral collecting. (If you have young boys, you probably collect rocks…in the dryer!)
• “Guacamole Day”, honoring the avocado, the tomato & onion treat that resembles baby poop.
Avocado Fun Facts:
⇒ Avocados are a fruit, not a vegetable.
⇒ Avocados mature on the tree, but only ripen once they are taken off the tree.
⇒ Although the plant dates as far back as 5,000 BC, prior to 1915, it was commonly referred to in California as ‘ahuacate’ and in Florida as ‘alligator pear’.
⇒ On average, 53.5 million pounds of guacamole are eaten every Super Bowl Sunday, enough to cover a football field more than 20 feet thick.
• “Independence Day” in Mexico (“El Grito de Independencia”), celebrating the declaration of independence from Spain in 1810. Fiesta!
• “Stepfamily Day, It’s estimated that 1-in-3 of us is in a stepfamily at some point. It’s now more common to refer to these as ‘blended’ families. (The story of Cinderella ruined the term ‘step-anything’ for everyone!)
• “International Day for Preservation of the Ozone Layer”, as first declared by the UN in 1994.
• “Working Parents Day”. Isn’t parenting work in itself?
• “National Play-Doh Day”, before it found its way to the craft shelf, Play-Doh was sold as wallpaper cleaner!
“National Tattoo Story Day”, Today, listen to, or share the story of how or why someone got theirs. Use #NationalTattooStoryDay to share stories and pics on social media (if it’s in an appropriate spot!)

SATURDAY-
• “International Country Music Day”, established in the 1950s to promote country music and to unite its fans all over the world. (Shouldn’t there be a song about this?)
• “Apple Dumpling Day”, celebrating the tasty Fall treat that consists of pastry filled with sweet, delicious apples. (Don’t forget the ice cream!)
• “Batman Day”, saluting the 1939 creation of the character as a DC comic strip hero. It’s been calculated it would take a person 15-18 years to do all the training they’d need to take on the job. Forbes estimates alter-ego Bruce Wayne’s worth at $9.2 billion, and lists his company, ‘Wayne Enterprises’, as having annual revenue of $31.3 billion.
• “American Citizenship Day” (aka “US Constitution Day” and “I Am an American Day”), focusing on the rights & responsibilities of American citizens. It commemorates this date in 1787 when the US Constitution was signed in Philadelphia, the oldest working constitution in the world.
• “Monte Cristo Day”, It’s typically a savory sandwich made with bread dipped in egg batter and either pan fried or deep fried. Variations may include sliced turkey and different types of cheese. It can be served grilled or open-faced and heated under a grill or broiler.
• “Time’s Up Day”, a day to let you know that if you’ve been waiting to make up with someone close to you, you’ve officially run out of time and should to make amends. (Not to be confused with “Make Up Day”, which was on Sept. 10…)
• “World Patient Safety Day”, a day to raise awareness about the importance of addressing health worker safety as a prerequisite to patient safety.

SUNDAY-
• “Cheeseburger Day”, celebrating the best way to get 2 kinds of cattle fat into your system simultaneously. Supposedly, the first person to ever slap cheese on a burg’ was grill chef Lionel Sternberger at the Rite Spot restaurant in Pasadena CA in 1926.
• “Hug a Greeting Card Writer Day”, saluting the anonymous and often under-appreciated wordsmiths who say the things we have trouble expressing. (Thanks for saving our bacon on numerous occasions!)
NET: http://www.greetingcardwriting.com/GC&V1.htm
• “Chiropractic Founder’s Day”, the first chiropractic adjustment was given by Dr. DD Palmer to janitor Harvey Lillard in 1895. Harvey had lost most of his hearing 17 years earlier after hearing a popping sound in his neck. Dr. Palmer determined that a bone was out of place, and decided to move it back. This primitive first chiropractic adjustment resulted in Harvey getting his hearing back, and the chiropractic profession was born.
• “Rice Krispies Treats Day”, a combination of butter or margarine and melted marshmallows or marshmallow creme. Kellogg’s employees Malitta Jensen and Mildred Day are credited with the invention in 1939 as a promotional vehicle for the cereal. (Is it a coincidence that ‘snap, crackle and pop’ and ‘Chiropractic Founders Day’ are celebrated together??)
• “First Love Day”, a day to reflect on your first love. Perhaps it was your highschool sweetheart? Maybe you’re still with your first love! Today, reflect on those butterflies you experienced when you felt that first romantic spark.
“Respect Day”, Teaching respect and raising awareness about domestic and dating violence with the goal of ending violence against women and children. Today is also “Wife Appreciation Day” and National Neighborhood Day” …it’s all about respect!

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1952 [70] Mickey Rourke, Schenectady NY, movie actor (“The Expendables”, “The Wrestler”) COMING UP…“The Palace”, 2022

1956 [66] David Copperfield [Kotkin], Metuchen NJ, magician-illusionist (became famous for making the Statue of Liberty ‘disappear’ and walking through the Great Wall of China)/21 Emmy Awards, 11 Guinness World Records

1958 [64] Jennifer Tilly (Chan), Los Angeles CA, movie actress (“Liar Liar”, “Bound”)/TV actress (voice of ‘Bonnie’ on “Family Guy” since 1999/pro poker player

1963 [69] Richard Marx, Chicago IL, pop singer (‘Right Here Waiting’, ‘Endless Summer Nights’)/songwriter (‘N Sync, Kenny Rogers, Josh Groban…)

1964 [58] Molly Shannon, Shaker Heights OH, TV actress (“Saturday Night Live” 1995-2001)/movie actress (“How the Grinch Stole Christmas”, “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby”)

1968 [54] Marc Anthony (Marco Antonio Rivera), NYC, pop singer (‘I Need to Know’)/married to Jennifer Lopez 2004-14

1971 [51] Amy Poehler, Burlington MA, TV comic (“Parks & Recreation” 2009-14, “Saturday Night Live” 2001-08)/movie actress (“Alvin & The Chipmunks” films, “Baby Mama”)/4-time Golden Globes host

1979 [43] Flo Rida (Tramar Dillard), Carol City FL, rapper (‘Whistle’, f/T-Pain-‘Low’)

1981 [41] Alexis Bledel, Houston TX, movie actress (“Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” movies)/TV actress (“The Handmaid’s Tale” 2017-21, “Gilmore Girls” 2000-07)

1986 [36] Ian Harding, Heidelberg Germany TV actor (‘Ezra Fitz’ on “Pretty Little Liars” 2010-2016)

1992 [30] Nick Jonas, Dallas TX, pop singer (‘Jealous’, Jonas Bros-‘Sucker’)/TV actor (“Camp Rock” films)/younger sibling of Kevin & Joe Jonas/married to Priyanka Chopra since 2018

SATURDAY- Cassandra Peterson (“Elvira, Mistress of the Dark”) is 71; director/producer Baz Luhrmann (“Moulin Rouge”) is 60; director-producer Bryan Singer (“X-Men” films) is 57; Kyle Chandler (“Friday Night Lights”) is 57; Nate Burkus (“The Nate Burkus Show”) is 51; Chuck Comeau (Simple Plan) is 43; NHLer Alexander Ovechkin is 37; Jon Walker (Panic! at the Disco) is 37

SUNDAY- ex-NHLer Darryl Sittler is 72; Aisha Tyler (“The Talk”) is 52; Jada Pinkett Smith “Red Table Talk”) is 51; former pro cyclist Lance Armstrong is 51; James Marsden (“The Butler”) is 49; Jason Sudeikis (“Horrible Bosses”) is 47; former soccer pro Ronaldo is 46; Patrick Schwarzenegger (“The Staircase”) is 29

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1984 [38] “Miami Vice,” starring Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas, makes its debut with a 2-hour episode that includes a scene featuring the Phil Collins hit ‘In the Air Tonight’

2014 [08] To mark the 20^th anniversary of the first episode of “Friends”, a reconstruction of the show’s ‘Central Perk’ coffee shop pops-up in New York, where Danny Wilde and Phil Solem of The Rembrandts reunite to perform the theme song

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1979 [43] Sugar Hill Gang’s ‘Rapper’s Delight’ is released. It becomes the first rap song to chart on the Hot 100, reaching #36. (It samples the melody of Chic’s ‘Good Times’)

2009 [13] US president Barack Obama calls Kanye West a “jackass” in an off-the-record comment

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1869 [153] Golf’s first recorded hole-in-one is accomplished by Tom Morris at Prestwick’s 8th hole, Scotland

1908 [114] Carriage-maker William C. Durant founds General Motors in Flint, Michigan

BULL’S BITS

BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ Turtles and honeybees are both deaf.
✓ Chewing gum boosts mental proficiency and is considered a better test aid than caffeine – but nobody knows why.
✓ Pope Francis has been given many extravagant gifts over the years, and one of them was a Harley-Davidson motorcycle.
✓ The quietest room in the world, in Minnesota, is measured in negative decibels and is so quiet that you can hear your own heartbeat and your bones moving.
✓ Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors.
✓ Ketchup leaves the bottle at a rate of 25 miles per year.
-Owlcation, WhattheFFacts, TheFactSite

BS LAME SUPERHEROES:
• Ironing Man
• The Silver Websurfer
• Blunder Woman
• The Hot Flash
• Can’t Man
• The Incredible Sulk
• Captain ‘Murica
• Aromatherapy Man
• Thor Loser
• Robin
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2020

TODAY’S SCOOP OF BS:
➠ You can now pre-order Apple’s new iPhone 14 Pro Max. (If you’re one of the first to pre-order, you’ll receive a giant, “I’M IMPORTANT” sticker at checkout…)
➠ You can now pre-order Apple’s new iPhone 14 Pro Max. (I just don’t think it’s THAT much of an upgrade from the “13”. I mean, can it crush more candy than the one I’m using now?)
➠ Legendary baseball manager and White Sox skipper, Tony La Russa, just received a pacemaker. (Still not missing a beat, however? The Sox losing streak.)
➠ Actor Mickey Rourke is 70 today. (His REAL close friends refuse to put candles on his cake because they’re afraid his face will melt…)
➠ Jada Pinkett Smith turns 51 on Sunday. (She’ll enjoy some cake…right after Will slaps out the candles…)

BS WEB GOODIE:
‘Cause it’s Friday:  https://tinyurl.com/fhm39hxn

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Two things I’ll never grasp in life: What to write in birthday cards and what to do when people are singing happy birthday to me…

BS PHONE STARTER:
What is the most tedious and/or the most exciting sport to watch? (Without using the word ‘baseball’…)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  A recent survey found that 23% of people have purchased THIS while under the influence? What is it?
Answer:  Concert tickets

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Happiness is not having what you want. It is appreciating what you have.